Where Do We Go From Here?
by elaine451
Summary: Complete. Begins at ‘Once More With Feeling’ and pretty much takes on a life of it’s own after the exit from the Bronze. Spike takes Tara home and Buffy tries to deal. Please read and review. B/A, S/T
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimers**: Everything belongs to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. I'm just having fun with the characters

**Summary**: Begins at 'Once More With Feeling' and pretty much takes on a life of it's own after the exit from the Bronze

**Pairings**: Buffy/Angel, Spike/Tara

**Reviews**: Welcomed and appreciated

**Notes**: Started this at the same time as 'Family', one story sort of went two directions, so you may see some similarities. Hope this one's different enough and hope you like it

* * *

Spike rushed out of the Bronze, leaving Buffy and her Scooby gang to finish their little ditty without him. Where do we go from here indeed, he knew exactly where he was going and he knew it was alone. He wasn't a part of it, of them, and to be honest he didn't want to be. He had fulfilled his obligation to Buffy and if she couldn't feel the way he did, well bugger 'em all. He sat on a crate in the alley and lit a cigarette. He hated the whiney, needy bastard he had become since he had fallen in love with the slayer. Love, what a joke. Obsession, that was it, he'd fallen into obsession. Again. He shook his head and took a deep drag. It started before she died and was even worse since she'd been back. Damn that stupid wicca for bringing her back.

'You always treated me like a man.' He cringed as he remembered his words to the Slayer the night she died. What a pussy whipped wimp. It made him hate himself even more than the girl and her little gang. Spike inhaled deeply again.

Tara had seen Spike dash out of the room and knew she would follow him out. She slowly backed up, exiting as unobtrusively as she could. Not that any of the group would really notice, she thought. She wasn't one of them and no matter how they tried to include her she felt the barriers that was put up by all but Dawn. Even Willow didn't trust her, which was obvious by the bramble's breath. She quietly shut the door and leaned her head against the cool metal.

"So, pushed out or just feel that way?" Spike queried.

Tara turned to him with a sad smile. "I don't belong in there, don't think I ever did." She sat next to him taking the cigarette from his fingers and taking a long drag.

His eyes opened wide with surprise. "So, what other revelations does the little white witch have up her sleeve?"

"You'd be surprised." She sighed heavily and looked up at the vampire with wide trusting eyes. "Will you take me back to the house so I can get a few of my things? It's dark and I'm nervous to go alone. I'll need to find a hotel and I'd rather do it before they all show up."

"And so when did I become your best mate and confidant?" He sarcastically inquired.

With a deep sigh, she softly whined. "Spike."

The two had become closer than the others during the summer of Buffy's demise; they had bonded with Dawn and with each other. So Spike wasn't really surprised that Tara would trust him to take her anywhere. And he wasn't surprised that she didn't take his sarcasm seriously either.

He rolled his eyes and flicked the cigarette to the ground, his mood changing mercurially.

"You sure pet?"

She nodded. "Please."

"Alright then, you can stay at my place tonight if you like." He almost laughed at the look on her face. "You'll be safe love, don't force myself on unwilling ladies. 'Specially if they prefer other ladies." He hopped off his seat and held his hand out to her. "Let's be off then."

Tara took his hand and shivered at the energy she felt transferred though his fingers. Strange, he was cold but she could feel his heat.

"Thanks Spike, maybe I'll take you up on the offer, at least for tonight."

* * *

Buffy looked around at all her friends and family. Spike was gone and so was Tara. She shrugged, the two of them really didn't need to borrow all this trouble. Dawn came to her sister and took her hands.

"I'm so sorry Buffy," she sniffed, trying to keep the tears at bay, "I...didn't know. I mean of course I didn't know about heaven, but I had no idea they were going to bring you back." She took her sister in an embrace. "But Buffy, I missed you so and I was just so glad to have you back…please say you forgive me."

"Oh Dawnie, forgive you for what?"

"For being glad you're back, even if it means you aren't in heaven anymore." The guilt over her feelings was choking the younger girl.

"If it had been you I would've gone to hell and back if I thought you were suffering. I know how you feel, really, and I don't blame you." Buffy pulled out of her sister's arms and went to Willow.

"And I can forgive you too. But you have to understand…Will, you have to see…" She found she could no longer articulate, her throat filling with bile. She rushed out the door, Giles fast on her heels.

Giles held her up as she trembled and became sick. "Oh Giles, what can I do? How do I live again?" She sobbed as she let her mentor take her into his arms.

"Buffy, we'll figure this out, somehow we will." Giles racked his brain for an answer.

"How about you and Dawn come to England for a respite, you can just sit back and consider your options…" He trailed off, feeling lost for her.

"I can't Giles. Willow needs me. After what she did I'm not sure Tara can forgive her and we all know she could react badly. All these secrets Giles, all the deception. And I'm as guilty at the rest, I couldn't let you know where I was, what Willow pulled me out of." She looked up at him.

Her voice was so small. Giles pushed Buffy to arms length and looked into her eyes. "We'll find a way to work this out Buffy, we always do, don't we?"

Buffy nodded and sniffed. "I suppose we do."

* * *

Angel was restless. He had a second chance, Buffy was back, alive, and he had a chance to tell her why he really left, to let her know how much he still loved her, would always love her. But so much had happened, his dark side, Darla. All of it. And getting his soul bound. He had wanted to tell her when she had first come back, when they had met. But she had been so vulnerable; she had told him everything then. Where she had been in death, how wonderful it had all been. She was convinced she had been in heaven.

"_Oh Angel, the love. The peace. It was there for me. And Angel, I knew that eventually you would've been there too. It was as close to perfection as anything could be and you would've made it complete and I know, just know that if I waited long enough you would have come to me." She had dug deep into his arms and wept._

"_Baby, you have me here, you have me now…" Angel had no idea how to comfort her, he just knew that he wanted to hold her in his arms forever._

_She had looked up at him with that sad smile he had come to recognize, the sad smile he had put on her lips. "I only want you forever. You make me feel Angel. And since I've been back I don't feel. Anything. But being here with you, since I've been back this is the first time I've felt alive. Thank you Angel."_

And then it was time for her to go back to Sunnydale, to her sister, to her 'friends'. Her obligations, she had said. 'And you know what those are like.' She had given a sad laugh. And then she was gone. He had been unable, unwilling to claim her. To add to the complications in her life.

How could anyone have thought Buffy would ever go to a hell dimension? Especially after saving the world again? What was Willow thinking to abuse her gifts like that, he asked himself? He wanted to get in his car and drive up to Sunnydale right now and take her away from them. All their sanctimonious, territorial possessiveness of the woman who would always be his.

Cordelia stood in the doorway with her arms crossed and shook her head. What was it about that stupid slayer that would allow no room in his life for anyone else? She was prettier, smarter, she had visions which in her opinion aced Buffy's slayer strength. Why couldn't Angel ever look at her that way? He even slept with Darla and he never came near her like that. It was so unfair. She took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

Angel turned at the sound and frowned at her. "What?"

"Don't you dare take that tone with me. You know what. I know what. You're gong after her, aren't you?"

Angel shifted his gaze to the ceiling. "I love her Cordy. Always have, always will. It's just the way it is. When that witch was able to bind my soul my first thought was of Buffy, I could be with her. But she was with that stupid soldier boy and I didn't want to get in the way of her happiness. And then the whole Glory thing and she died…" his voice caught, "…but nothing Cordelia, no one can ever change the way I feel about her."

"Whatever Angel. It's your funeral. You know what happens when the two of you are together, you may love each other but that doesn't mean you are good for each other. Just don't come running to me when it all falls apart…"

"Just stop it! Just stop with your fucking nay-saying! I know it won't be easy and I know I'll have a hell of a time even convincing her how right we are for each other. But hear me Cordelia. She will be a part of my life. And I won't be put in the middle of you and her. She will always come first. I want you in my life Cordy, you've become an important part of my life, but don't think you can put a wedge between us if I can win her back." His eyes were blazing and Cordelia took a step back.

"Yeah, okay so I get it. Just don't forget Angel, I've stayed for these past three years, she hasn't, she…"

"I'm the one who left her Cordy, not the other way around." With those words Angel got up from his seat, gently pushed Cordelia from his office and closed the door.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimers**: Everything belongs to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. I'm just having fun with the characters

**Summary**: Begins at 'Once More With Feeling' and pretty much takes on a life of it's own after the exit from the Bronze

**Pairings**: Buffy/Angel, Spike/Tara

**Reviews**: Welcomed and appreciated

* * *

Tara licked her hand, sprinkled salt, licked it off before taking a bite of lime and then swung her seventh shot of tequila down her throat. Giggling, she leaned against Spike and handed him a wedge of lime.

"Isn't this just so much fun? I'm forgetting why I was so upset."

Spike took the lime from her, unable to hide his amusement, he laughed out loud.

"Oh Tara love, you are the most fun I've had in a very long time." He downed a shot, relishing the burn as it trickled down his throat. It took a hell of a lot to get him drunk, but tequila always seemed to do the trick quickest.

"Goddess, how can one man be so beautiful?" Tara ran her hand across Spike's chiseled jaw. "You have such heat Spike, I can feel it. Why is that?"

"You, dear heart, have had a little too much to drink. Hell, more than a little and so have I. Maybe we should find you a nice hotel room after all…"

"You said I could stay with you and I am holding you to your word." She giggled again and grabbed his hand. "Take me home Spike, I need to lie down." She rose and swayed. Sitting down again she looked up at Spike.

"Help?" She dissolved in a fit of more giggles.

Spike rolled his eyes and tossed Willie two twenties. "That cover it?"

"Yeah, sure Spike. Hey, what are you doing with the little white witch anyway?" Willie dropped the money in his register.

"We were both feeling a little under appreciated and I thought a few drinks might soften…oh bugger, don't need to explain anything to you. But if Buffy or any of her mates ask, I wasn't here and neither was the bird. We clear?" Spike pulled Tara up and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Here love, put your arms over my shoulders." Tara giggled again and nuzzled into his neck.

"I can see why you like necks so much, so soft," Tara ran her tongue along his collar bone and took a light nip. Spike shuddered at the sensation and took an unneeded breath.

"Little witch, you'd better stop playing with fire…"

"Or what?" Tara slurred. "Am I gonna get burned?" She looked deeply into his eyes.

He smirked down at her. "I'm not a nice man Tara, I'll take you drunk or sober."

"I don't care, just take me away." She gazed up at him, fire in her eyes.

* * *

She slept fitfully, all her dreams of Angel. He was holding her in his arms, smoothing her hair back, soothing her anguish. She felt a rush of heat as she felt his tongue run across her jaw causing more shivers. Buffy moaned as her eyes fluttered opened.

"Angel?" Was she still dreaming?

"Hi baby." Angel smiled at the pliable girl in his arms.

She tried to sit up only to have Angel pull her closer to him. "Angel? What are you doing here? What are you doing? Did something happen? Is something wrong?"

Angel sighed and loosened his hold on Buffy as he sat up against her headboard, pulling her with him. "The only wrong thing is that you weren't with me. I missed you and so here I am."

Feeling very confused but very comfortable, Buffy dug deeper into his arms. "We can't do this you know. If you stay here like this, well…I want you and I can't have you and that just isn't fair."

Angel laughed.

"Oh sweetheart, let me worry about what we can and can't do." He leaned over and began to unbutton her pajama top, placing a kiss on each newly exposed piece of flesh. Buffy moaned, unable to stop him and not wanting to, she leaned back against her pillow and drowsily waited to see what was going to happen.

* * *

Buffy stretched, a glorious languidness rushing through her body. She felt a welcoming soreness she hadn't felt in a very long time. She reached her arm over and felt Angel's cool body next to hers. Leaning up on her elbow, she looked down at his laughing eyes.

"So, what just happened? Why? How could we? Angel, I know it's you, how come you're still here? Okay, so maybe not perfection and bliss, but why did you take the chance?" Her face becoming more agitated with each question.

Angel raised his hands in supplication.

"Whoa sweetheart. One question at a time. Okay. Where to begin? So, what just happened? We made perfect love to each other. Why? Because I love you and I needed you and I have never stopped. How? Well, I could show you again…"

There was a wicked glint in his eye that made Buffy shiver.

"Okay, maybe later. It was pure bliss baby." He pulled her back into his arms and looked deeply into her eyes.

"Two years ago I met a woman, a witch, and I helped her. In return she asked me what my heart's desire was. Since I didn't really want anything in return I told her what I thought I could never have. My soul bound, to be with the only woman I could ever love. So, she bound my soul. Then said the rest was up to me."

Buffy sat up in bed and smacked him hard. "And why was I not informed of this 2 years ago?"

Angel grimaced and rubbed his chest. "You were with Riley and I thought you had found a normal life. Some peace, some happiness."

Buffy sighed. "Oh, normal. Yeah, I kinda remember what that's supposed to be. But it was never meant for my life Angel. As for peace and happiness? Only ever with you." She lay back in his arms and looked up at the ceiling, feeling the prick of tears at two lost years.

"So, where do we go from here?" She quietly asked.

"Where do you want to go from here? I'll go where ever you say. I left three years ago and it was the biggest mistake I made in almost three centuries of existence. I won't make the same mistake ever again. I've done some things baby. Things I'm ashamed of, things I would've never done if you had been in my life. Now all I want is to show you how much I love you and to show you all that you have to live for. All that we have to live for."

"Can it be that easy Angel? We've both been through so much, I mean I died again and all. And I've got a sister to take care of. And you, you've lived a life without me…" She couldn't go on, didn't want to. She wanted him to tell her none of it mattered, they could make it work. Buffy looked deeply into his eyes and waited.

He smiled that half smile that always sent her heart racing. "I won't lose you again. I won't walk away again, ever baby. We'll make it work sweetheart. Somehow, we'll make it work."

Buffy took a deep breath and smiled her first sincere smile since she had been brought back. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes.

"Okay, that's what I needed to hear."

* * *

Tara moaned as Spike slide between her legs again. They had been making love, okay she thought to herself, not making love, but certainly having incredible sex all night and it was almost mid-morning and Spike showed no signs of letting up.

"Please Spike, not again."

She almost sounded convincing, but when he began to move in her, she couldn't help but pick up the rhythm as she wrapped her legs around his waist. She had never been with a man and she wasn't sure what she had been getting into last night. Spike had brought her back to his crypt and had given her ample opportunity to back out of this. But Tara burned for him, she didn't know why. Maybe it was the need to push Willow's betrayal out of her mind and heart. Or maybe she was just giving into a fantasy, a crush, a desire she had fostered since the summer, her summer with Spike. All she knew was that when Spike had kissed her, when he had place his cool hands on her body and began to undress her, there was no going back for her. She wanted, needed him to show her what happened between a man and a woman. Or in this case, a vampire and a woman.

She arched her hips, meeting him thrust for thrust. She felt herself begin the ascent and she tipped her head aside, allowing him access to her neck. Spike had asked her last night, blood play he had called it. 'I won't turn you love, but it'll make it so hot you won't believe it.' Since she was playing with fire she decided she might as well go all the way, so she looked into his eyes and nodded her accord. And he was right, which is why she was waiting for him to drink from her, just that small taste that would lift them both to heights she had never imagined.

Spike was unable to completely fathom all that he had experienced these past hours in Tara's arms, but he had to admit, this was most satisfied he had been in his whole undead life. His mind went back to the night before.

_At first he had thought she would cower away, he had given her the chance. He had let her sober up a bit and gave her the option to back out. But she had just smiled at him and pushed her skirt from her hips and let it fall to the ground, her shirt soon followed. Spike had never realized what a woman she was, all curves and a delicious fullness that was all woman. He went to her and slipped her bra off, gasping at her full, heavy breasts. He cupped the weight of them and bent his head to encircle her nipple with his lips, suckling until her groans were unbearable, it was all he could do to contain the raging hard on in his pants. Next he knelt in front of her and pushed her panties down, breathing in her excitement. She was practically dripping with want. He ran his hand over her mound, smiling as she pushed back into to him. He stood away from her and stripped slowly, a feral grin on his face as she gasped once his erection was freed of his confining pants._

"_Goddess Spike, you are so beautiful." She had draped one arm over her breasts, the other over center._

"_Baby, don't, you're gorgeous. Never cover your self from me. You're a bleedin' goddess. I swear Tara, you should be painted. You're lush, delectable, all woman." He went to her and pulled her into his arms before lifting her and depositing her onto his bed._

_Tare giggled as she hit the mattress. No one had ever been able to pick her up and Spike lifted her as if she were a feather. This was certainly a night for first, she thought._

_She laid back, her eyes beckoning him. He growled as he crawled between her legs, not needing a second invitation._

When they had both come down from their latest climax, Spike turned to his white witch and laved the holes on her neck.

"So, lesbian, huh?" She had kept up with him all night and he was almost done in.

She gave a soft laugh. "I never defined myself as such. I just fell in love with Willow. And since I had never fallen in love with a man…" he felt her shrug, "didn't know if I could ever trust them." Her eyes were downcast. He put a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to look into her eyes.

"What happened?" He asked quietly. He felt an anger start to swell. If someone had hurt her he'd have to hunt them down and make them suffer.

She blinked at the expression on his face.

"Spike, no. Just my father and Lonnie, they hated me, all women I tend to think now, and I…well, the boys from high school back home…I was scared, unsure of myself. I thought I was some sort of demon and if I didn't watch myself I'd kill someone. So I drank and I smoked and I let my grades slide. I got into self abuse instead of boys I guess. And Dad and Lonnie, they made sure I didn't consider myself good enough. They were my only example of what men were like…that's why I left." Her voice faltered.

He felt her shrug in his arms. "And that was the best thing you ever did. Look how the scoobies took to you, more than good enough I'd say."

"They like me Spike, but I was just tolerated because I was with Willow. Dawn, she loves us, but Buffy, Xander, Giles, the core…" She looked up at him again. "You and me Spike, we're more alike then anyone would ever guess. Don't know what I'm going to do now, just know I can't go back, not after this. You made me feel whole, not just an appendage."

"An appendage? Oh sweet, you're never an after thought and you should never stand in the shadow. You're brilliant, a diamond, a sun. As for you and me being alike?" She felt him shrug. "I think we could have a good bit of fun, you know I care for you…we should…I'd like us to…" He wasn't sure what he was aiming for, just knew he wanted to spend time with the girl.

She felt his desire mixed with confusion and was confused as well. And exhilarated, he wanted her and he didn't want to lose her. He cared for her, but maybe she was reading too much into it. After only one night of sex, okay an incredible night of sex, but still, she didn't want to be hurt again by moving too fast.

"I don't know Spike. This was wonderful, indescribable actually." He felt her falter.

"But?"

"No buts, just…let's take our time with this. We have time." She looked up at him.

"I'm not going anywhere just yet. I mean, I have to find a place to live." She looked around. "I can't live here, need a place to study. Need a shower with hot water." Tara smiled at him.

"I feel so much for you Spike, I did over the summer too, and I mean, this isn't just a rebound and if you want us to be more…I mean…." She was shocked by her own boldness. She had just left her girlfriend the night before, she felt so fickle, as she talked to a vampire about the possibility of a relationship. Her blush began to make its' way down her chest.

Spike laughed. "Oh pet, we are more. And I want to spend time with you, lots of time." He pulled her close to him.

"You are a great remedy for all that ails this fucked up vampire and I don't want to lose you. You're good for me and I can be good for you. Let's give it a go, see what happens?" She was a tonic, he hadn't given the slayer a thought and even now the thoughts weren't the usual. Yeah, his tonic, his cure.

Tara took a deep breath, taking in Spike smell, and smiled and she snuggled deeper into his arms. "I need some sleep right now. Let's talk about all the other stuff when we wake up."

Spike pulled the cover up over them and pulled her even closer. He smiled at the strange direction life could take for a chipped vampire and a sweet Wicca.

"Sleep sounds good pet."

Tara sighed, this feels good she thought, feels right. Funny how such an awful thing can turn into something positive. She smiled as she felt herself float into a blissful sleep. Poor Willow, she thought before she fully nodded off.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

**Disclaimers**: Everything belongs to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. I'm just having fun with the characters

**Summary**: Begins at 'Once More With Feeling' and pretty much takes on a life of it's own after the exit from the Bronze

**Pairings**: Buffy/Angel, Spike/Tara

**Reviews**: Welcomed and appreciated

**Notes**: Started this at the same time as 'Family', one story sort of went two directions, so you may see some similarities. Hope this one's different enough and hope you like it

* * *

Buffy came downstairs with Angel following close behind. "Okay, so let me tell them first. They have no idea…"

"Angel!" Dawn screeched as she launched herself into his arms. "What are you doing here? Did you go all sing songy?" She looked over at Xander. "His fault, not mine. Anyway, it's so good to see you. We all missed you so much. Especially…hey, wait a minute. How come you're coming from upstairs?" She squeaked as realization hit her.

"You were with Buffy and you're still you? This is so great! Fantastic!" She hugged him even tighter and kissed his cheek. "You're back?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "He'll be here for awhile, so you can let go."

Dawn turned to her sister with tears in her eyes. "Oh Buffy, I'm so happy for you. After everything…"

"Dawnie, it's all good. Don't start, we're here now."

Xander had heard the news from the living room and he was livid. He didn't care that both Buffy and Angel could send him across the room with a light tap, he was pissed.

"I don't believe you Buffy. You're taking up with him again after he walked out on you? And what's to say he won't lose his soul again? All soulboy does is bring you misery, you know that." His voice was seething, causing the slayer to narrow her eyes as she looked from her lover to one of her best friends.

Anya stood up and put her hand out for Angel to shake. "Oh, you're Angel. This explains so much." She turned to Buffy. "No wonder no one else was ever good enough, look at him. So handsome, so tall, so hot. And a vampire with all that stamina thrown in for good measure. An unbeatable combination." She looked over at Xander. "You just pull in those jealousy hormones. You have me now and I'm better than you deserve so you better watch it mister."

Angel shook his head in agreement.

"Boy, you'd better watch yourself." He growled with a shake of his head. "You and Cordelia, the two of you are so alike. You'll never have Buffy and Cordelia will never be with me yet the both of you seemed determined to try and keep us apart. It isn't gonna happen boy so just accept the inevitable. Buffy and I are together now, so deal!" Buffy put her hand on Angel's arm to hold him back.

"Baby, let me talk to him." She turned to Anya, "Could you go and get some blood for Angel, please? Let me talk to Xander, I promise it'll all be fine."

Anya huffed. "Alright, fine. Just make sure he knows I won't be second place." She motioned to Dawn. "Come with me, I hate going to Willie's during the day. The dregs that hang out in the daylight are scary." Dawn kissed her sister and gave Angel one last hug as she whispered in his ear.

"Be patient, he's crushed on her since sophomore year."

Angel nodded. "Yeah, no worries." He went into the kitchen to allow Buffy some private time with Xander as Willow came in.

"Willow, didn't know you were up. So, I guess you heard us?" Angel clenched his fists, trying to fight his demon's urging.

She sniffed. "Yeah, congratulations Angel. The two of you deserve some happiness." A tear escaped her eye.

"Willow, what's wrong?" Angel put an arm around her.

"I totally blew it with Tara." She looked up at him. "Umm, you did know I was seeing a girl didn't you?"

"Oz mentioned it last time I spoke to him. So, what happened?" Angel invited her to dump.

"The magics. I used them when I shouldn't have. I use bramble's breath, to make her forget an argument. And it just got worse, so much worse. So she left." Willow sobbed.

"Maybe you guys'll work it out." He commiserated. "When did she leave?"

"Last night, after the whole musical spell fiasco. Glory sucked her brain last year and she pretty much accused me of doing the same. Oh Angel, look at all the bad I've done. I thought I was doing something good, first with Buffy and then with Tara. I just…I'm still the nerd from high school only difference is I'm now a nerd with a little bit of power. And I really hurt Giles too." She fell against him with sobs wracking her body.

"Oh Willow, I don't know what to say. If you hadn't brought Buffy back I wouldn't be with her so I can't be too objective. As for, Tara? Is that her name?" Willow nodded. "I don't know Will, once trust is broken it's hard to fix. All you can do is try."

"I guess I don't really deserve her, but I have to try. Just not with magic, huh?"

"Most definitely not with magic." He rubbed her back.

* * *

"Buffy, what in the hell are you thinking?" Xander quietly asked her.

"I'm thinking that I have never loved anyone but him and that I will never love anyone but him. And I'm thinking, no, not thinking, I know that I need him. I've died twice Xander, twice saving the world. I got yanked out of heaven and now I deserve this. I deserve Angel." She looked deeply into his eyes, silently begging him to understand. "I love you Xand, but if it comes to choosing between you and him, I'm sorry, he wins."

Xander rose. "Yeah, whatever. But when he breaks your heart I won't be here for you. I'm done. We've all been here for you. Even when you died we were here for you and you would do this? You would betray us all for him? For a fuck?"

A resounding slap was heard in the kitchen and Angel and Willow ran into the living room to see what had happened. Xander had his palm up against his stinging cheek as a red welt began to spread over his face.

"Who in the hell do you think you are? Did you ever ask us if you should date Cordelia of all people? No! Did you ever consider what we would think of you dating an ex-vengeance demon? No again! We had no right to dictate to you who you should or shouldn't see. And you have no right to dictate to me. You dare to question me? Question my choices? Do you really know who I am? You come along, but when push comes to shove, it's always me. I sacrifice, I put the world first. You can walk away if you choose. But me? I'm the fucking slayer, the goddamn chosen one!" Her face was flushed with anger.

Willow stepped in between her best friends. "Buffy, please." She placed herself between her two best friends and turned to face Xander.

"Xander, I think you should leave before you say something else you can never take back. Go home, we'll tell Anya where you are." He blinked several times and hesitated.

"Buffy…I…" He stammered.

"Not now Xander. Just go." Willow pushed him out the door. "Go home and figure out how to make it up to her. And to Anya, your fiancée, remember?"

"Willow? You agree with her choice?" He was incredulous.

"Xander. We don't always choose love, sometimes it chooses us." She sadly smiled.

* * *

Anya waited on a bar stool at Willie's, Dawn close to her side. "See that demon over there? Does nothing but drink and spew that putrid liquid from those gills." She shivered. "Ugg."

Dawn stifled a giggle. She looked up when Willie set down two quarts of blood. "That'll be 20 bucks for the slayer's sister." He winked at her.

She smiled back. Despite it all, Dawn like Willie. Spike brought her here a couple of times and he always gave her a cherry coke with ice. "Thanks Willie. Hey, have you seen Spike? He was with us last night and then he disappeared."

Willie shrugged. "Have you tried his crypt?" He didn't want to squeal on the white witch but he was a sucker for Dawn, he like the little girl.

"No, but you're right, I'm sure that's where he is." She smiled as Anya put the money on the counter.

"Don't forget, Buffy owes me 20 dollars." She handed the bag to Dawn, who handed it back.

"Do me a favor Anya? Take this back to the house? I want to run by the crypt and see if Spike is okay. He just took off last night and he didn't say good bye or anything." She left before Anya had a chance to disagree.

The ex-vengeance demon rolled her eyes. "Yes, whatever you say princess." She looked over at Willie. "I swear, that little girl gets whatever she wants." With a huff, Anya grabbed the bag and left.

Willie smiled to himself. He'd love to be a fly on the wall when the little princess walked in on Spike and the white witch.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

Dawn pushed the door to the crypt open and made her way down to Spike's bedroom. She had been upset last night when Buffy had refused to stop by and see him. Not just that, but she had also refused to look for Tara once they had gotten home and discovered she was gone.

"_Dawn, please. They're both adults, one a little more than the other. They can watch out for themselves." Buffy had a headache and needed to lie down._

"_Fine." She didn't want to upset her sister more than she was so she dropped the subject. _

But now she had to make sure Spike was okay.

She made her way down the ladder and noted the several candles still burning.

"Spike? Are you down here?" Dawn stopped short when she saw the lump in the bed clothes. Oh please let Spike be wearing clothes to bed, she thought.

"Spike?" She pushed at the nearest bump and a yelp erupted. A blond head came up and it had long hair.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. I didn't know Spike wasn't alone. Just pretend…" Her eyes opened wide as she saw who was in the bed. "Tara?" She squealed.

Tara opened her eyes to come face to face with Dawn.

"Oh goddess, Dawnie." She elbowed the body next to her. "Spike, wake up!"

Grumbling, he rolled over.

"What is it love, we've not been asleep all that long…" His eyes opened wide.

"Dawn? What are you doing here?" He looked between his new lover and the poppet, gauging Tara's reaction to being found out.

Tara ran her tongue over her lips.

"Dawnie, please…ummm, let us get dressed and we'll talk." She gave the young girl a weak smile.

Dawn shook her head and blinked several times, maybe if she cleared her eyes she wouldn't be seeing what she thought she was seeing. She reached out and touched Tara and then Spike.

"Oh my god. So this is real." She nervously giggled. "Tara, I…okay, I'll wait upstairs."

After she left, Spike looked over at Tara.

"Well, the bit seemed to take us in stride, don't 'cha think?"

Tara turned her head to Spike and started to laugh.

"Sorry, totally inappropriate, I just thought we'd have a little more time to break the news." She then pushed herself back a bit. "Unless you changed your mind, if you regret…I…" She found she chewed at her bottom lip, waiting for his response.

"Love, no. Last night, this morning, all of it was the best thing that has ever happened to me in, well forever I'm thinking. Of course we'll have to deal with the scoobies and I'll be damn lucky if Willow doesn't turn me into a frog or something equally degrading." He kissed her softly. "Do you have any regrets?"

She tilted her head and smiled at Spike.

"No regrets. I truly believe all things happen for a reason. And I think you and me finding each other is right."

Spike released the breath he was holding.

"Alright then. Let's get dressed and regale poppet with the news."

* * *

Dawn was so excited, she couldn't sit still. Oh my god, there's gonna be such drama over this. On one hand she was sad for Willow, but on the other, she totally deserved it. And both Tara and Spike deserved to have a bit of happiness in their lives. They were the two who always put her first. Of course she couldn't fault her sister too much, after all being pulled out of heaven had to leave a deep psychological dent. And she did love her sister best. But as far as she was concerned, Tara and Spike were the greatest people she had ever known in her life. Even though her life wasn't as long as she believed it was, she thought with a smile. She looked up as a very disheveled Tara and Spike entered the room.

"Wow. I mean that's all I can really think to say, wow. So, like what does this mean? Did you get drunk and end up in bed together? Or did you plan it? I mean, were you two always attracted and like after that fiasco last night, did you just give in to the pull of your attraction? Or, was it like…."

"Whoa nibblet." Spike raised his hand in supplication. "Give us a minute to…" He shrugged. Tara rolled her eyes and went to Dawn, taking her hands she sat down with the girl.

"We aren't really sure yet Dawnie." She smiled up at Spike.

"We just know that right now this feels good, right. We don't want to hurt anyone, least of all Willow. But she and I, we can never go back to the way we were. And Spike and me, well…" she thought for a moment, "…we got kinda close during the summer. I never considered him an outsider, not the way Will and Xander did. We," she looked over at her lover, "we're more alike then anyone might understand. I think we can have something really good Dawn." Tara shrugged. "It started out with commiseration, but it ended up being glorious. We just need a little time to focus on us. It's brand new Dawn, and we may be moving a little fast, but…we seem to fit."

Dawn smiled. They were two of her favorite people and she thought the whole thing so romantic.

"Don't worry about me, I think this is perfect. The two of you are perfect. I mean, I'm sure Willow will have a small stroke, but really, she can't blame anyone but herself, right?" She clapped her hands together and bounced in her seat.

"But this is so exciting, and romantic and so scandalous. I can hardly wait until everyone finds out. This is so cool. Oh, and I almost forget, Angel's back and he's with Buffy. Everyone's with who they're supposed to be with." She was almost shaking with excitement. "When will you tell everyone?"

Gauging Spike's reaction to the Buffy-Angel news, Tara shrugged. "Not sure yet. Spike? What do you think?"

"I would like to tell everyone now, but considering how quickly it's happened I think we should give it a little time, otherwise Tara may be dusting me off the floor." He looked at Tara, reading her insecurities over the news. "What ya think love? In for some drama or should we wait?"

"I think waiting would be of the good for the moment." She smiled her relief.

"Okay then poppet, you'll have to hold the news for a little while. Seems Tara and I will be doing a bit of house hunting, she doesn't care to live in the crypt…"

"Umm yeah, and who could blame her." Dawn gave Tara a knowing look. "This place is cold and damp and has no hot water to speak of."

Spike graced the teenager with a sexy smirk. "Yes, we are both aware of that fact. So, as I was saying, we will be looking for new digs. Preferable something with sewer access." He shrugged at Tara. "Hey, not as difficult as you would think, after all, we do live in Sunnydale."

"Ohhh, I could help you look. I'm always seeing for rent signs on the way to school. Why so many people leave Sunnydale is beyond me." Dawn giggled.

"Well, guess I should get back home, seems we're gonna have a guest as well. Suppose he won't be a guest though. A new tenant. I think Angel will be moving in. Oh, all the excitement, almost too much for this teenager." She jumped up and gave both Tara and Spike a kiss on the cheek.

"So happy." Dawn headed for the door with a wave. "See you soon."

Spike sat next to Tara. "Well, that did go well." She sighed and leaned into him.

* * *

Willow sat down at the dining room table. This is just perfect she thought. I ruin my relationship just in time for Buffy to be with her soul-mate. Great.

"Hi Will." Dawn sat across from the red-head. "How ya doin'?"

With a weak smile, Willow shrugged.

"Considering I pist off the woman I love more than life and I brought my best friend out of heaven and I just pushed my other best friend out of the house, well, just fine."

"Sorry Willow. Really, I'm so sorry." Dawn stood up and gave Willow a small hug. "Do you know if Anya came by with the blood for Angel? Oh, isn't it fantastic that he's here? It's bound to make Buffy feel so much better about things, don't you think?"

"You mean feel better about the fact that I yanked her out of heaven? Oh yeah, tons." She snidely remarked.

"Willow, please. We have to let Buffy and Angel know how happy we are for them. It's important that he knows he's accepted back. I for one wish he had never left, I know Mom was relieved, but…" Dawn stopped mid-sentence. "It's so weird, I have total memories of when Angel left, but I wasn't really here. That could really screw up any other teenagers' mind…"

"But not my sweet Dawnie." Buffy came up behind her sister and took her in an embrace. "We will not ever mention the possibility of you not ever being here. As far as I'm concerned, as far as anyone who means anything to us is concerned, you have always been a part of our lives. Are we clear?"

Dawn smiled at her sister's happiness. "Yes, clear."

"Clear about what?" Angel entered the kitchen, giving Buffy a kiss and ruffling Dawn's hair. She was too happy to even pretend to be offended.

"Clear that you and I are going to be cohabitating in sin. Delicious, glorious sin. And that Dawn may not ever do what her sister is doing until she is at least…oh I don't know. Does twenty five sound about right?" Her voice filled with laughter.

"Hmmm…" Dawn played along with her sister, reveling in her light-hearted mood. "Maybe I'll just wait until I catch up with Spike and make him my boyfriend." She waited for her sister's reaction.

"What did happen to Spike last night? And Tara? Did anyone see where they went?" Buffy asked, completely off subject.

Willow sighed. "Tara came by before we all got back and took some of her stuff. I'm sure she'll be back for the rest. I don't know what happened to Spike."

"Um, I went by his crypt, he was there. Just didn't want to interfere, I told him he was a part of us, but he…" Dawn was cut short by Angel.

"What do you mean, a part of you?" Angel was confused.

"He was with us the whole summer Buffy was gone, he helped." Dawn shrugged, not wanting to praise her best friend too much. She didn't want to upset Angel before he even officially moved in.

Buffy turned to her lover. "He took care of Dawn, he help the guys keep the demon population down." She waited for his reaction.

"Why?" Angel was incredulous.

"He promised." Dawn said simply.

"Yeah, okay. But I repeat, why?"

"He had a little bit of a crush on Buffy, even built a Buffy-bot…"

Angel cut Dawn off. "What? And you let him back in here?" After a short pause. "A Buffy-bot?"

Dawn huffed. "Just let me finish, he did all that, but he got over it. Really. He was here for me and Tara all summer. I mean, Willow and Xander were devastated about Buffy, so was I. So it was hard for them to really be here for me. But Tara and Spike, they took care of me…" Dawn gave Willow a weak smile. "I never blamed you."

"Oh goddess! Dawnie I'm so sorry. I was so obsessed. I just didn't see…" Willow fought back her tears.

"Really Willow, it's alright." She patted the wicca's arm.

Angel nodded to Buffy and the two of them went into the living room. He sat her down on the couch and turned to her.

"Okay, so talk to me about my grand-childe."

The slayer shrugged.

"What do you want me to say Angel? He did become a bit obsessed with me, imagined himself in love. He had a robot built that looked like me. But after Glory, he really was an asset Angel. He protected Dawn and me. He was even here for mom, I think she liked him." She noticed the slight twitch in her lover's eye. So shouldn't have shared that one, she thought.

"What about now?" His voice was deceptively calm.

She sighed. "I don't know Angel. I've sort of been wrapped up in my own misery. He left last night, after all the drama."

"Okay, when the sun sets I think I need to have a little talk with the boy." His eyes were unreadable.

"Please Angel, just let it be. He was here for Dawn. Without him and Tara, I'm not sure how she would've made it through the summer. Please…"

"Don't beg for him. I'm not going to kill him, just going to have a talk with my grand-childe." Angel smiled at her and pulled her close. "Don't worry on his account."

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Sexual situations, heavy M rating this chapter**

**Feedback welcome**

* * *

Chapter 5

Dawn left the house a little before the sun set, she wanted to make sure Spike had a heads up about Angel paying him a visit. She entered the crypt as Spike and Tara were packing boxes.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Oh, hi Dawnie. Well, so much for taking it slow." Tara laughed. "I found the perfect place for us on the way to school this morning. One bedroom, a nice loft, roomy kitchen, big bath, and best of all, access to the sewers from the patio. So even in the daylight, Spike will be protected from the sun by the awning. It's so cute." Tara smiled.

"Yeah, I checked it out. I can get to the whole town from the patio. And Tara did a protection spell so none of the other baddies can get into our place." Spike wrapped a few candles as he talked.

"So, Spike's found new digs?" Angel was leaning on the crypt entrance, his eyes focused on the vampire and the ethereal girl who moved closer to his side. "And this is Tara?"

Spike gave an insolent nod to his grand-sire. "Hi Peaches. Tara, this is Angel, the one I've told you about. Angel, this is Tara."

Angel nodded. "Hi Tara, heard a lot about you. Spike, just what are you playing at with this girl?"

"Not playing at anything. Not that's it's any of your business." Spike pulled Tara closer.

Angel turned to Dawn. "You knew about this?"

"Well, yes. I mean it just happened. They want to wait before they tell anyone. You can see why, can't you? Everyone will disapprove, it's what they do. Tara and Spike need time…" Dawn faltered. "Please Angel, don't tell Willow. She might go ballistic."

"Thanks poppet, but you don't need to defend me…" Spike was a bit offended.

"I'd rethink that boy, you may need a little protection should Willow find out her ex has taken up with someone else so soon. Look, I know you were all affected by a spell yesterday, maybe…"

Tara cut him off. "I don't mean to be rude, but you know absolutely nothing about Spike or myself. Our history. And I don't feel the need to fill you in." She looked up at Spike and smiled. "We are new, but we're real. We just need time together to make it solid. I'm not the flighty sort, this isn't a reaction to magic. That's something Willow's about, not us."

Angel smiled at the girl. He liked her right away and didn't want to see her get hurt by Spike. "I'm sure your feelings are real, but…"

"It's real Peaches." Spike growled.

Dawn took hold of Angel's arm. "Please Angel, give them a chance. It's new, please." She begged.

He looked down at the girl and nodded. "Alright, but I'm gonna need to tell Buffy." He raised his hand before anyone could protest. "She'll be able to steer Willow away. We don't need her to fall apart. Agreed?"

All three nodded.

Angel turned to leave. "Spike, walk me out." He turned to Dawn, "Come out in a few minutes and we'll walk home together." She was about to disagree, but the look he gave her had her changing her mind.

"Okay, boy, you're sure bossy." She groused.

"Yeah, I know. Spike." He turned and Spike followed with an eye-roll for the ladies. Once outside, Angel turned to the blond vampire. "Okay, so what's you're game? She's not really you're type."

"I know she's pure, but she wants me and I want her. We played around it during the summer, but after what Red did to her and after…well, we just seem to make sense. Angel, don't go all interfering hero with this. Let us be. We may not make it for the long run, but right now, it's good for the both of us." Spike lit a cigarette.

"Don't ruin her Spike." His voice was forced.

"I don't want another Dru, I like Tara just the way she is. She's good for me and I'm good for her." He faced his grand-sire straight on. "Are we through?"

"For now. Send Dawn out." Angel turned from the vampire.

"I can take her home later…"

"Just send her out Spike. And don't try to come between her and her sister. Or me, we need to be a family for her."

"What? I wouldn't, oh bugger off." Spike went back into his crypt.

* * *

Dawn sat next to Tara after Spike and Angel and gone out. "Are you sure Tara? I mean, you and Willow just had a fight and all…"

Tara smiled at the younger girl and smoothed her hair. "Oh Dawn, I'm not sure about a whole lot right now, but I do know one thing. The way Spike makes me feel is something I need to explore. Maybe we'll be together for a long while, maybe not. I thought it might be rebound, but I've had more than a little crush on him since summer. And if I could trust Willow, I don't think I could have these feelings for him. And I do. So, please be happy for us. We both deserve a little happiness."

Dawn smiled. "I am happy for you. You have to write down your new address for me so I can come and visit after school."

* * *

Angel and Dawn walked in silence, each in their own thoughts. She was the first one to break the calm. "So, you know, the two of them did get close over the summer. The scoobies are pretty closed off from everyone else."

"I know Dawn. Xander's pretty pist your sister and I are getting back together." Angel offered.

"I'm so happy for the two of you. I mean, she, you, both of you deserve to be happy. Finally." She paused, not sure she should bring up the past, but… "Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"I never agreed with mom, that you should leave Buffy to find that so-called normal life. Not to speak ill of the dead, I mean I'd do anything in the world to have mom back, but…she shouldn't have done that to you and Buffy. I just wanted you to know."

Angel chuckled. "Thanks. But I should never have listened to her."

"Well, yeah, there's that too." She laughed and took his arm. "This is gonna be so great! Having you here with us, I mean…."

Angel smiled and let the young girl ramble. Yeah, he thought to himself, it was gonna be great. Buffy, Dawn, a real life. It was already so great he was almost afraid. He sighed and focused his attention back to his 'little sister'.

Chapter 6

Buffy looked up from the book she was reading as Angel and Dawn came in together and she sighed.

"Thought you'd find her at Spike's." She stood up. "Is everything okay?" There was just a bit of fear in her voice.

"Worried about Spike?" He asked in a hard voice.

"Just stop the macho bullshit. He was, is, a friend." Buffy looked over at her sister's worried face and smiled encouragingly. "To the both of us."

She walked up to her lover. "But I love you, more than life Angel. Nothing can ever change that." Going up on her toes she kissed him softly. "Ever, not even death."

Angel sighed and took her into his arms. "I know."

Buffy pulled slightly out of his embrace. "We need to find out where Tara is. I'm a little worried. She hasn't been back to…"

"Umm, we need to talk." He gave a knowing look to Dawn. "Let's go upstairs, okay?"

Buffy looked between her man and her sister. "What's this all about?"

Angel took her hand and began to lead her to the bedroom. "All in good time, come on. Dawn, make sure Willow's doing okay."

"You really are bossy, good thing I like you so much." She went in search of Willow.

* * *

Buffy snuggled a little deeper into Angel's arms as they lay together in bed. "Wow, this is so weird. I mean, really? Tara and Spike? Is this some sort of mind fuck Spike's trying to pull?"

"I don't think so. I know my grand-childe and when he gets a woman under his skin it can last centuries. And Tara is something special, even I could see that and I'd never met her before."

She pushed away from him and looked into his eyes. "You think she's special? Special how? Do you think she's pretty? Are you attracted…"

Angel pulled her back into his arms. "Stop, I love you. She's sweet, innocent. Also has a certain tranquil power, she doesn't even know the power she has. And I can see her attraction to Spike. And his to her. He's a bitch when it comes to love." He chuckled at her spurt of jealousy.

Buffy settled slightly. "Okay, just don't praise her too much. I really do like her and I would hate to have to break her in two." She lightly bit his shoulder.

"Anyway, how should we handle this? Maybe we could ask them to just pretend that they're roommates and that would ease Will into seeing them together and then eventually, if they're still together, they could say they fell in love spending so much time together. Clever?" Buffy smiled at her reasoning.

Angel chuckled again. "Ah sweet, let's just keep it from Willow for now and then we'll see how it plays out. Maybe run it past Giles. We just have to make sure she doesn't do something drastic."

"Yeah, we know how calm she can be. I'm living proof of that. I just want to spend time with you. Get to know you again. Love you. And I need to be there for Dawnie, I've been pretty preoccupied since I got back. She needs to know she can depend on me again. I don't want any more drama in my life right now. No stress."

"Dawn'll have the both of us now. Umm, let's see if I can help ease the stress." Angel kissed her slowly and deeply. Smiling that Angel smile that made her knees weak, he knelt in front of her and began to unbutton her shirt. Buffy moaned as she sat up to make it easier to remove. She lifted her hips as Angel pulled her pants off, taking her panties with them. Buffy gasped as she felt his hands move between her legs.

"Angel." She writhed against him. He growled as he smelled her immediate arousal and stood up to quickly remove his clothing. Buffy watch in rapture as he stripped for her, her heart beat increasing. He slid between her legs, peppering kissed from her moist mound up to her quivering stomach. Angel laughed at the joy coursing through his body. He stopped at her navel to whirl his tongue around the edge, eliciting a small squeal from his mate. Laving his way up, he stopped at her nipples next, taking one and then the other into his mouth, deeply suckling before lightly biting each one, causing Buffy to arch her center into him.

"Are you ready baby? Are you ready to reach the stars?" He roughly asked.

"Oh yes, please Angel yes. Now…" She begged him.

"What do you want me to do baby? Tell me what you want?" He teased.

"Fuck me Angel, fuck me." Her voice was hoarse with passion.

"Umm," he rubbed his lips across her neck, running his tongue across the mark he left on her all those years ago. "Who else was here Buffy?"

"It doesn't matter, please Angel…" Tears of need were escaping from the corners of her eyes. "Please."

"It matters." He was deceptively quiet and Buffy pulled back to look up at him.

"It was…" She began.

"I know who it was." Buffy saw his fangs appear as he ran them over the scar. "And now I take back what belongs to me." He bit down as he entered her, pushing hard into her core, Buffy exploded. He held her hands over her head as he pounded deeply into his mate. Mine, his body cried. Mine, as he drank from her.

Buffy shattered into a million pieces as her orgasm rocked her from reality. She really was going to the stars and Angel was her vehicle. This was her heaven on earth. Moaning, Buffy lifted her legs high on Angel's waist. He took one leg and hoisted it onto his shoulder so he could push even deeper into her as sobs of intense pleasure shook her. She lifted her other leg, so both were draped over her lover's shoulders, the angle of his penetration hitting a spot the slayer didn't even know she had. As Buffy was about to scream out her next orgasm, Angel read her intent and muffled her release with his mouth, kissing her roughly and swallowing her cry. His thrusts became uneven, his last push rocketing his release deep within Buffy.

Angel rolled off Buffy, pulling her to rest on his cool chest. "You okay baby?" He raggedly whispered.

"Mmmm.." She rubbed her face on his shoulder. "So good, can't talk."

He smiled as he felt her breathing fall into that familiar pattern of sleep. Angel smoothed the hair off her sweat soaked brow and looked at her beautiful face. How could I ever consider a life without her, he asked himself? She's my soul-mate, my other half. I think I might've died without her. Closing his eyes, Angel promised himself that tomorrow he would tell Buffy all that had really occurred over the past three years. He might even tell her about their lost day together. As his gave himself up to sleep he reconsidered his last thought.

* * *

Willow sat in the dining room and looked up at Giles, Buffy and Angel.

"Roommates? Spike and Tara are roommates? Since when did they become good enough friends to be roommates?" Her voice was confused as she wracked her brain for an answer.

"Over the summer, you know that Will." Buffy nervously looked over at the two men in her life.

_She went over the last hour with Angel and her watcher. They had just told Giles about the two of them being together and then dropped the bomb about Spike and Tara. Buffy was really quite impressed by his accepting manner. He just wiped his glasses and shook Angel's hand._

"_Take care of her old man, don't hurt her. She's been through quite enough already." Giles turned to Buffy and took her in a soft embrace. "All I ever wanted my dear was for you to be safe and to be happy. You do know that?"_

"_Yes I've always known that Giles. I may not have shown it, but I've always known and appreciated it." She hugged him back and braced herself for the fact that he was probably going back to England. "You're going back, aren't you?"_

"_I am. I think you and Angel can handle this together. If you need me you know I'll be here. You're past the age of needing a watcher my dear." Giles sighed. "Actually, I think that perhaps I should invite Willow to join me for awhile. Her powers are strong, she may be one of the strongest witches I've seen in a very long time and she needs to know how to harness this, to keep it pure. We wouldn't want her to ever use the black arts. Even if she does it accidentally it could be a disaster."_

"_Well. I do have an idea…" She felt her stomach quake at the thought of losing Willow, but at the same time a wave of relief swept over her. Buffy nodded at Giles with a sad smile of acceptance._

The wicca sighed deeply, bring Buffy back to the moment. "Roommates. I drove Tara to take in a monster as a roommate." Willow shook her head.

"He's not a monster Will, you worked with him over the whole summer. You know he's not a monster. And Tara just needs a friend right now." Buffy ran her hand over her friends arm and looked over at Giles.

"Yes, well…Willow? There's something I wanted to discuss with you." Giles cleared his throat.

"Oh Giles." Willow wailed as she rose from her seat and went to the watcher. "I'm so sorry. I was so terrible to you when you came back. I was so…" She couldn't continue as shame filled her.

"Willow, please my dear. Magic can be very heady stuff." He held the girl at arms length and looked into her eyes. "Willow, I would like you to come back to England with me. There's a coven that could help you to harness your power, control it, make sure you don't inadvertently fall into the black arts."

Willow looked up at Giles, her eyes huge and rimmed with tears. "Oh Giles, I would never…"

"I know that my dear, but when emotions run high sometimes things become out of our control. This coven is strong, the leader is a dear friend and I know she would be invaluable to your education. You've proven yourself to be more than adept, you know that yourself. Think of this as an educational vacation." He smiled down at the girl.

"Kinda like a Wicca summer camp? You'll be there, right? I mean, I won't just be stuck out in some old castle or something, punished for being Willow the bad witch?"

Giles laughed at the forlorn look on Willow's face. "I shall be there the entire time, my home is just down the lane from Sarah's facility. It's a lovely place, it's sponsored by the Council but she has total autonomy. You can stay at the institute or stay with me, it's up to you."

She gave him a tearful smile back. "Yeah, okay, let me talk to Buffy…"

"Will, all we want is for you to be happy and strong. In the long run this could be the best thing for all of us. I mean, how could we ever lose with one of the most powerful Wiccas in our corner?" Buffy went to her best friend. "Willow, I think you should go."

Taking a deep breathe, Willow nodded. "I guess you're right. I think this might be the best think for all of us. And maybe this will give Tara time to forgive me. Maybe…" Willow shook her head with a sad smile, "denial much?" Wiping the tears from her eyes and took Giles hand. "Okay, book a flight for me."

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Spara-centric, but major Bangle coming**

**Feedback: Welcomed**

**Flashbacks in italics**

* * *

Tara stretched and untangled her legs from Spike's. She had to fight the urge to snuggle back into his arms. Willow had called the night before and wanted to see her before she caught her flight to London with Giles.

"_I just need to apologize in person Tara, please. Meet me for coffee? I'll only have about a half hour, but I need to see you. Please?" Willow pleaded._

She had agreed once she had run it past Spike. They were still so new, Tara didn't want him to think she was doing things behind his back, which was one of the reasons she and Willow had failed so miserably. Tara smiled as she remembered his reaction.

"_Well, I don't see why not love, broad daylight and all. And she knows we're living together, although she doesn't know we sleep in the same bed. Just don't let her talk you into good-bye sex." He had pulled her into his arms and nuzzled her neck. _

"_Better wear something around your neck, wouldn't do to have her see those." He fingered his mark on her. She swayed close to him, his touch doing funny things to her equilibrium._

Going over to the closet, Tara pulled out her brown turtle neck sweater and denim skirt, grabbing her boots as well before she headed to shower. Spike opened one eye and saw his white witch head for the bathroom. When he heard the water running, he couldn't resist, he hopped out of bed and headed to shower with Tara. He discovered they both loved shower sex.

Tara exited the shower before Spike, her body tingling more from her orgasms then the hot water.

"I swear Spike, you are going to make me so late." She tried to scold him, but her voice came out with laughter behind it. He made her laugh all the time. And when he wasn't making her laugh, he was making her scream. It would seem the sexual appetite of a vampire, especially her vampire, was endless. She looked up at the bathroom door where her naked lover stood, fully erect again. Tara smiled and shook her head. Endless. She wondered if Buffy's Angel was as ever ready as her Spike.

"Gotta go sweetie, I should be back in an hour at the most. I know it means a lot to Will and I need to say good bye." She reached up and kissed his damp face, her hands lingering on his taut stomach. "Mmmm, you feel so good."

When he attempted to pull her into an embrace, Tara pulled away. "You're gonna get me all wet."

"Think I already did love, if your scent is anything to go by." He gave her a cheeky grin.

"Spike! Really. I hate that you can know that. Pretend you can't and leave me just a smidge of dignity." She rubbed his nose with hers. "See you soon."

She turned back with a saucy smile eyeing his erection. "And save that for me."

The blond vampire leaned against the door jam and watcher her walk out of the room. They had been here almost a month and he felt as if he had known the girl a life time. They both just fell into such a comfortable, sensual existence. As if they'd known each other forever. He sighed at his flight of fancy and picked up his jeans, his mind going back a couple of weeks to a visit from Angel and Buffy.

"_It's a really cute place Tara." Buffy tried to sound upbeat, but all four knew just how uncomfortable she was._

"_Thanks Buffy, but you don't have to make small talk. I know you're concerned about Spike and me." Tara's voice was soft but firm. "You don't need to be, really. We're both adults and…"_

"_Tara, no. I'm not here to make judgments. Spike was good to us, to mom, Dawnie, me, I know how he can be." She looked up at Angel. "We just wanted you to know what's going on."_

"_Oh. Please, sit down." Tara led the slayer and her vampire to the couch._

"_So Peaches, not here to drive me off with torches and tar?" Spike held an unlit cigarette between his lips. It had been there since they had arrived._

"_Just light the damn thing boy." Angel's hackles rose at his childe's tone._

_Spike chuckled. "Don't smoke in the house, only out on the patio." He took the cigarette from his mouth and laid it down. Buffy and Angel exchanged a surprised look._

"_Okay, so let's get to the point, I guess." Buffy spoke up. "Well, we told Willow you two were living together as roommates." She held up her hand as Spike began to protest. "Willow's going to England with Giles in a couple of weeks. She's going to be studying with a coven there, so it'll give her time to get used to the two of you knowing each other. If you guys are still together once she returns, well it would make sense that you fell in love. Or whatever." _

"_Thanks Buffy. I never wanted to hurt Will. This all happened so fast and I knew she'd feel betrayed." Tara smiled at the slayer and Angel._

_Angel smiled back. "Tara, from what I've heard, you were the one who was betrayed. You have a very big heart to feel this way." _

"_Okay then, enough with all this chit chat. Thanks for giving us time." Spike did not like the idea of Angel liking his woman, that just wouldn't do. _

_Tara rolled her eyes at Buffy. "Spike, really, we can make a cup of tea, or coffee?" She questioned both their visitors._

_Buffy had to smile at Tara's ever present graciousness, but she knew Spike wanted them out. "Tara…"_

"_I'd love a cup of coffee." Angel graced the young girl with a beatific smile. Tara blushed and got up to get him a cup._

"_Buffy? Coffee or tea? I have iced." The tone of her voice softened Buffy's jealous spike._

"_Iced would be great Tara. Do you need any help?"_

"_Oh no, just relax." Tara smoothed Spike's hand with hers and went into the kitchen. As soon as the door was closed, he turned on his sire._

"_Just what are you playing at? She's mine, don't play the fucking knight in shinning armor…"_

_Angel chuckled as he held his hands up, his eyes falling on Buffy's glare. "Come on you two. She's a sweet girl who lost all her friends when she and Willow broke up. I know she loves you Spike, but she needs to know she wasn't completely deserted." He turned back to Buffy. "Can't you understand baby?"_

_Buffy sighed, he was right of course, it just rankled her that she didn't think of it. "Yeah, I understand. But please, turn down the charm-wattage a bit, okay?" Angel laughed as he pulled the slayer into his arms._

"_She doesn't know me and I just wanted her to feel comfortable. Will, are we clear on this? You are my childe and I do have final say on this." He gave Spike a stern look._

_Buffy looked over at the two of them in confusion. "Just what the hell does that mean?"_

_Spike shrugged and picked up his cigarette. "He's my sire, more so than Dru ever was, and as such he can veto any mate I choose. That's all." The blond vampire fell into his chair and placed the unlit cigarette between his lips._

_With a raised eyebrow, Buffy pulled away from Angel. "And of course you do give your consent, right?"_

_Angel looked deeply into his grand-childes' eyes. "What say you boy? Are you worthy?"_

_Spike pursed his lips and shrugged. "Am I worthy of Tara? No, but I want to be…"_

_Entering the living room, Tara heard the tail end of the conversation between Spike and Angel. She put the tray down with a thud, drawing the attention of all three._

_She stood in front of Angel, her hands on her hips, her back set straight. "Just who the hell do you think you are? You have no right…" Spike jumped up from his seat and took her arm, pulling her away from his sire._

"_He has every right baby." The blond vampire's eyes never leaving Angel's. "But, he accepts us and he will consent. Right?"_

_Buffy was shocked into silence by Tara's behavior. She was used to the stuttering, shy little girl Willow introduced as her girlfriend. She was a far cry from the warrior woman defending her man that was standing before all of them now. Maybe Spike was good for Tara. At least for the time being._

_The slayer stood next to the dark vampire and spoke. "Of course he consents. And why wouldn't he? You aren't children and you both have every right to live the life you choose."_

_She went to Tara. "I really wish only the best for you two. I can never repay all that you did for Dawn while I was…away. I'll be indebted to you for a very long time. Which is why I hate to ask this…" Buffy hesitated._

_Angel's eyes narrowed, but he kept quite and sat back down, his eyes still locked on his childe but still intrigued at what was to come next from his lover._

"_What is it Buffy? What do you need?" Tara was intrigued as well._

_Taking a deep breath, Buffy proceeded. "Well, with both Giles and Willow leaving, we're really going to need help in the research and spell department. I know you think you can't compare with Will, but I know you have it in you Tara, and…will you be willing to help?"_

"_Oh, yes. Of course Buffy. I'll do what I can, but I don't have nearly the power Willow has." Tara stammered a bit, as she always did when she was nervous._

"_You have it in you Tara, I'm sure Spike can sense it even better than I can. Right?" Angel asked._

_Spike nodded. "She has the power. It could even be stronger than Red's given time. Her's is pure, no ego or ulterior motives there." He put his arm around her as he felt the heat of her blush._

"_I…I would never go that far…but I will do my best." She slightly bowed her head and let her hair sweep over her face._

_Angel cleared his throat. "Well, I think it's time we took off. We need to swing by and pick up Dawn at the library."_

"_Oh my gosh, I forgot. So much for my sister of the year award." She leaned into Angel. "Spike? Tara? I really do want you to both be happy. Please, know that."_

"_We do Buffy." Tara shyly smiled. "Um, just let me know when you need me…"_

"_We should meet tomorrow night, after patrol. But not at my place, Willow's not leaving for a couple of weeks. Can we come here?"_

Spike chuckled at his musings and shrugged. Things were going well for them. He actually had civil conversations with Angel, surprise there. Spike turned and grabbed for his cigarettes before heading out to the patio.

Tara and Willow sat in uncomfortable silence while the waiter brought them their coffee. Tara was the first to break the quiet.

"England, huh? This should be a really great experience Willow. I mean, I know you always wanted to go there." Tara nodded her thanks to the waiter before adding creamer to her cup.

"We always wanted to go there." Willow quietly noted.

"Willow, please…" Tara grimaced.

"I'm sorry Tara, please, I'm so sorry. Can't we just start over, can't we just pretend…"

Tara cut her off before she could continue. "Willow, no. We can't just do anything because we are no longer a we. It's over Will." She sighed heavily. "We were killed and there's nothing, short of one of your spells that can resurrect us."

Willow pulled back as if she had been physically struck. "Tara, I…"

"I'm sorry Willow, but please, don't think we can ever pick up with the relationship we had. It's gone, over. Maybe someday we can resume a friendship of sorts, but anything else…" Tara shook her head.

"I only wish you the best Willow, you have to know that. And honestly, I forgive you. But please, don't hold out any hopes that once you come back we can ever be what we were." She covered the red-headed girl's hand with her own. "You need to move on, get strong, get healthy. But for you, not for me."

Willow bit her bottom lip to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay. "Yes, okay, I so get it." She blindly grabbed for her purse and stood. "Thanks for seeing me Tara, I know it must've been hard. Have a good life." She turned and almost ran from the coffee house.

Tara sighed for what must've been the 20th time since she had sat down. Opening her purse, she took her keys out and got up to leave, anxious to see her lover. She smiled at her thoughts. How could something so awful, so hurtful turn into something so magical? Tara was thankful for her time with Willow, it would seem that all roads led her to where she was meant to be, with Spike.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: Major Fluff**

**Feedback: Welcomed **

**Short but pivotal, hope you like!**

* * *

Angel held Buffy in his arms and thanked all the gods that be for his second change with the only woman he could ever love. He took an unneeded breath and continued his story of the time since her death and re-birth.

Once he was finished, Buffy sighed, blinking back tears. Tears for the man she loved, tears for herself. And tears for so much wasted time.

"Do you forgive me?" Angel quietly asked.

"Forgive you? Oh baby, there's nothing to forgive. Okay, so major shockage, Darla being back from the dead…the undead…whatever." He felt her shrug in his arms. "But to be honest, I can't really say how my life would've played out if you hadn't come back to me when you did. Who knows how well I would've handled all this alone." Buffy cradled his cheek and kissed him.

"I love you Angel, always have, always will. Whatever happens, we'll handle it like we always have. Well, at least from this point onward." She smiled.

"Together?" He smiled back.

"Together, always." Buffy pulled away to look at him. "Angel, I may not always be around. I'm old for a slayer and I live a dangerous life. If something should happen…"

"I won't let anything happen…" The slayer put her fingers over his mouth and continued.

"If anything should happen to me I need to know that you'll be strong enough to carry on. For Dawnie, for…well for everyone else who depends on you, on me."

"Buffy, I can't even think about…"

"Just promise me Angel. We have the makings of a wonderful life, but shit happens. I mean really, how many times can I come back from the dead? Promise me that you can survive on what we have now. Day by day. That no matter what, you can go on." Her voice was filled with conviction.

"Yeah baby, I promise." He pulled her close and kissed her. "But you gotta promise me the same thing."

She chuckled in her arms. "Oh yeah, I promise. I also promise that no one or nothing will ever take you from me."

* * *

A month had past and Buffy and Angel relished everyday they had together, not taking any single one for granted. Nights were spent keeping the demon population at bay and making love, venting all the blood lust and passion that had been pent up for years.

Buffy's happiness knew no bounds. For the first time since she had assumed her slaying duties, Buffy felt satisfaction, completeness. She rose everyday, Angel at her side, and thanked all the gods and powers that be for this gift she was granted.

Angel pulled Buffy close to him and nuzzled her neck. A laugh bubbling forth at the complete bliss he felt at having her in his arms.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" He rolled her over onto her back. "As if I couldn't guess." He chuckled.

Buffy giggled at her lover's playfulness.

"Oh Angel, is this real? I…I'm so happy. I never thought I could be so happy." She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him inside her heat. Angel groaned at her tightness.

"Oh baby, this is real. This is what we deserve. What we've waited our whole lives for." He pushed deeply and slowly into his lover, savoring her feel, her scent, all things Buffy.

"I love you Buffy, until the end of time, I will love you." He rolled over again until Buffy was straddling him. "Gods woman, how I love you."

"Angel, Angel, Angel…" Buffy threw her head back and allowed Angel to take her away.

* * *

"So sweetie, how's life in casa de slayer?" Tara handed Dawn her double scoop of chocolate-chocolate ice cream.

"Good, really good. I mean Angel really is bossy, but he's trying to relax a bit. And he's actually attempting to tell jokes. No one ever gets them, but we all appreciate the effort." She giggled as she tried to keep her cone from ending up all over her face.

"Have you heard from Willow?" Tara asked.

"Giles says she's doing well and loves England. Ireland, too. He took her over there for a little bit of a holiday. But her studies are going well." Dawn looked worried. "Why? Are you having second thoughts?"

Tara laughed. "No, honestly Dawn, don't worry so. Spike and I are great." She found a small table for them to finish there treats sitting down. "Sometimes I can't believe my good fortune. He's…he's…well, it's hard to believe he doesn't have a soul, you know?" Her eyes always sparkled when she spoke of Spike.

"Yeah, he's super cool. So, are you coming over tonight? Buffy mentioned you were working on a translation for them."

"Umm, probably. I think I'll have it ready before Spike goes on patrol, so he'll bring me over." She pulled out piece of fabric she had bought to reupholster a chair she and Spike had found at a flea market.

"So, do you like it?" Tara changed the subject, respecting Buffy's request that Dawn be kept out of all things demon related.

"Yeah, pretty…" Lucky for Tara, the young girl was easily distracted.

* * *

Spike stretched out one of the chairs Tara had set out for him and lit his cigarette. He fingered the ring he had recently bought for her, the idea of losing Tara had lessened with the more time they spent together however it was still there. He had actually spoken to his sire about it, not really having anyone else to speak to regarding relationships. Once he sat back and thought about it, he didn't know whether he should laugh or just get pist off his ass considering whom he was asked advice from.

"_So, if you think you love the girl so much, marry her." Angel was in the process of dusting a vampire while continuing his conversation with Spike. Two more vamps jumped out from behind a headstone._

"_Um, Spike? A little help here?" Angel kicked one demon in the stomach before retrieving his stake._

"_Oh, yeah." Spike was a little distracted while he mulled over his sire's words. He quickly snapped the neck of one vampire while Angel finished off the other. Marriage. He never even considered it an option, but there was really no reason why they couldn't have a bonding ceremony._

"_Splendid idea that, Peaches. Yeah, bloody brilliant idea." Spike turned and walked out of the cemetery without a backward glance, his objective firmly in place, leaving Angel to shake his head at the recent turn in his relationship with his childe._

I really do not deserve her, he thought to his self, but I am not gonna lose her. Once she gets back, I'm askin' her. He was so deep in thought he didn't feel her presence until she was almost on top of him.

"What the fuck?" Spike's eyes widened in shock at the sight that greeted him.

"What, no fond words for your great-grand-sire?" Darla grimaced as Spike stared at her protruding stomach.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Feedback: Welcomed and appreciated **

* * *

"We just had sex, nothing more." Darla sat in Spike's kitchen and sipped on a bit of warmed blood as she fingered the two filigreed bands around her wrist. She toyed with the blood, fighting the queasiness that threatened to engulf her.

"Bloody hell, Buffy's gonna have an aneurism. She and the old man are together now, the poof's buggerin' her and all. What would've possessed him to have sex with you anyhow?" Spike had to laugh at the expression on the old girl's face.

"Thanks a whole hell of a lot. Anyway, he was despondent after he found out she had died and I took full advantage of it. Thought I might be able to get Angelus back…"

Spike laughed out loud again, interrupting her. "Right, like you could cause him a moment of true bliss? And even if you could, the old man had his soul bound a couple of years back. This is so rich. You really have been out of the loop."

"Yes, well that really isn't the point now is it? I'm pregnant and I have no idea how this could've happened. I've seen countless shamans and witches and demons to find an explanation, a reason, and no one has any idea. According to them this shouldn't, couldn't happen." She took a long breath and pushed the cup of blood away. "And I can't drink blood. What kind of demon can't nourish itself with blood?" She felt tears begin to prick at the back of her eyes, cursing the long dead emotions surging through her body.

Spike rolled his eyes. "My lady will be back soon and maybe she can come up with something." He moved over to sit in front of the blond vampire. "And then we call Angel, he has to know about this."

"Yeah, whatever. But I need to see both of them, Angel and his slayer." Darla lay heavily back against the couch.

* * *

"Spike, I'm home…" Tara was stopped short by the blond, very pregnant woman sitting on her couch. "Spike?"

"Hi sweet." Spike went to Tara. "Umm, this is…"

"Yes?" Tara put her arm through his, feeling the need to stake her territory and that included her man.

Darla laughed at the young girl's movements. "Oh Willie, you have yourself a little tiger there don't you?"

"This is Darla, Angel's sire. Well, now I suppose she'd be considered his grand-childe." He looked down at Tara for her reaction.

"But she's pregnant, I mean she's a vampire, right?" She felt her mouth remain open and she couldn't seem to close it. "Pregnant? I mean Spike…pregnant? How?" Tara was completely confused.

"You've been living with my grand-childe for a while, I would think you would know how." Darla laughed again. "My question is why." Darla looked over at Spike. "Can I have something to drink? Water, tea, anything, just not blood."

* * *

Tara looked over at her lover, a disapproving frown marring her brow.

"Ah, come on love, I told them the truth, I mean, after all, we do have some news." He chucked.

"Oh yes, you did it in the most positive way possible. 'Peaches, got the old lady here with some interesting news. You're gonna shit a brick. No, no, can't tell you on the phone, but we'll bring Darla over and she can tell you for herself'. I mean really Spike, could you be any more vague?" She hated the thought that Buffy and Angel were probably holding their breath until their arrival.

As they came up on Buffy's house, Tara turned to Darla. "Umm, maybe we should go in first, just kinda break it to them gently. I mean, you walking in there like that…"

The front door opened bringing Buffy to stand between Tara and Spike as she stared at her lover's sire. Pregnant, the bitch is pregnant, Buffy was incredulous.

"Buffy?" Angel came out just behind the slayer, still not in view of his ex-mate yet. "Baby?…" Angel stopped short in his tracks, his eyes popping open wide at the sight that was Darla. His eyes shifted between Buffy and Darla, noticing that the two women continued to stare at each other.

"So, this is the big news Spike? The bitch got her self impregnated and this concerns us how?" Buffy finally broke the spell.

"Well, this bitch is impregnated by your lover, so that would be where your concern enters this little picture." Darla pushed past the slayer and stood in front of Angel.

"And you, you bastard. Just how did you do this to me?" Darla demanded.

"I…I…how could this happen?" Angel rubbed his forehead, his eyes pleading for the slayer to understand.

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Okay, let's all go inside." Tara. Spike, Angel and Buffy all turned to make their way up the porch stairs. Buffy turned back to Darla. "Well, you too. After all, this is all about you, isn't it? So considered yourself invited. For the moment."

* * *

Darla rubbed her rounded stomach and looked at the assembled group. She couldn't help but smirk at the look on her childe's, oh wait, she thought, my grand sire's, face. He was scared, something that didn't happen to Angelus or Angel. She removed one of her bracelets and fingered it before she began to speak.

"Okay, so I suppose you have endless questions. The problem is, I have absolutely no answers. And believe me, I've looked everywhere." She sighed and sat down on the couch, next to the slayer.

"Hey, even a vampire gets swollen feet when pregnant." Darla answered Buffy's questioning look.

Angel sat on the table, opposite his slayer and his sire. "Darla, are you sure it's mine?" He held up his hand. "Now wait a second. What I mean is, are you sure this isn't some sort of…I don't know, implanted demon? Wolfram and Hart, they…"

"I ran away from them before I even knew about this." She sighed again. "And when I found out, I traveled up and down this damn continent attempting to find some answers and there were none to be had. However, I did run into a talented sorceress in Brazil, she actually gave me these." She held up the bracelet she been playing with.

Buffy looked over at it, not really interested. "Oh, what's if for? Birth control? A little late, don't you think?"

Darla laughed. "Actually, in a way I suppose they are." Before anyone could react, the vampire grabbed Buffy's arm and clasped the piece of jewelry on the slayer's wrist.

Too late, Angel grabbed Darla and pulled her away from Buffy.

"What the fuck?" Buffy fumbled for the bracelet, intending to rip it off, but was assailed with excruciating pain, doubling over and dropping to the floor as Spike reached her side and lifted her up.

Angel pushed Darla aside, taking Buffy from Spike. He looked over at Darla.

"What the hell did you do?" Before she could answer, the vampire screamed, gripping her stomach.

Tara's eyes flew open in sudden clarity.

"Oh goddess, the bracelets…they're transference vessels. Quick, before it's too late, you have to get it off Buffy…"

Darla let out a harsh laugh.

"It's already too late. I am always surprised by the naivety of humans, and vampires with souls…" Darla stopped as she was swept up in the pain of the transfer.

"I don't understand, Tara…" Angel looked to the white witch for help.

"Lay them both down, Spike, get pillows and make them as comfortable as you can." Tara turned to Darla. "How long is this supposed to take?"

"What, for what to take?" Buffy screamed.

"The bracelets, they…it's a transfer." Tara held Buffy's hand.

"Transfer? Transfer what…oh my god, Tara, stop this…" Buffy was hit with another wave of intense pain and Darla screamed out.

It was over before anyone was really fully cognizant of what was occurring. Darla ripped the bracelet off her wrist and sat up, placing a hand on her flat stomach and gazing at Buffy's now swollen one.

Shaking her head, Darla turned to the other four people in the room. "I had to do this. I couldn't have those emotions, those regrets."

"Gods Darla, you could just cast your child aside, you could just do this to Buffy…" Angel was cut off by her harsh laugh.

"Cast aside? I was carrying a human child in my body. What do you think would happen once I gave birth to it? Did you think my maternal instincts would just kick in? I know what I would do, what I have done." She looked at Buffy again.

"It's his slayer. And it's human, I had it tested. A human child, it's not me, it's all him or..or, whatever." She pointed at Angel. "I'll leave and I'll never come back, I won't even be on this continent. Since I've become what I am, I've never regretted a thing, never asked for anything I could've just taken. But I'm begging you, be a mother to this…this baby. Be what I can't." She stood up and began to back up.

"Don't you care? You'd just abandoned your child, the only child you could ever have." Buffy fought the tears as she felt the life in her body move, the reality of what just occurred not hitting her yet. "God Darla, I always knew you were a monster, but this…."

Darla laughed. "Thankfully all the emotions that little bastard was instilling in me are gone. I meant what I said, I'll leave, but don't look for me, leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. I already have passage out of this country, no one ever has to know." She ran her hand over her stomach again.

"Gods but it feels good to be myself again." She turned and went to the door.

Tara blinked several times, unsure all of what just happened actually happened.

"Buffy? Are you alright?" She laid her hand on the slayer's stomach, closing her eyes. Yes, she thought, the baby feels good, healthy.

"Am I alright? I was just impregnated by a crazy-ass vampire with my boyfriends' baby. Am I alright? I don't know…let me think…no! Angel?" Buffy was pale, the reality of what had just happened beginning to set in.

"Buffy, I…gods Buffy." He couldn't hide his feelings from her. The woman he loved was carrying his child, one that was conceived in a damaged vessel, but one that now had a chance of a good life. How could he regret what Darla had done? And how could he lie to his beloved?

"Help me sit up, please." Buffy held her hand out to him. She could see all the emotions running through him. Fear, relief…happiness. And how did she feel, she asked herself? This was a child she would never be able to have with the only man she could ever love. Was it possible that this was meant to be?

"Dawnie? Could you call Giles?" Buffy closed her eyes to her sister's shocked face.

"Gosh Buffy, how, why…gosh. Giles? Yes, Giles." The young girl turned and headed to the kitchen.

"Just love him. It's something I could never do. Please…" Darla had paused with her hand on the door knob. She shook her head, attempting to clear any regrets that lingered. "Okay then, good bye."

Without a second glance, the master vampire was gone into the night.

Buffy looked up at Angel.

"So that's it? She's gone? I mean, do you think she could really leave her child? Angel, I'm scared, really scared. I mean, not to insult you or anything, but this child. Is it a real baby, what if…" Tears filled her eyes and she couldn't finish her thought.

Tara sat down next to the slayer.

"Buffy, I, um, I know I'm not a seer or anything, but…" she laid her hand on Buffy's stomach, "I feel his life force, his aura if you will…he's strong, healthy. And Buffy, he's human. I don't feel any sort of demon or negative energies. Just…just baby."

Buffy burst into tears and turned to bury her head in Angel's chest. Dawn had just come back after calling Giles and ran to her sister. Tara rose and let the younger girl sit next to her sister.

"Oh Buffy, please. We'll take care of all this." She looked up at Angel for his support. "We'll make sure you're safe and calm and…Giles is coming. He said he'd take the next plane out to be with you."

"Baby, hear that? Giles will be here and we'll figure this whole thing out." He took a deep breath and held his baby's mother closer. A myriad of thoughts crowding his brain. A host of what-ifs. He shook his head to clear it and focused on his mate.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Feedback: Welcomed and appreciated **

* * *

Tara opened a drawer and put Buffy's sweater away before turning back to her friend.

"So, how are you feeling?" The blond witch pulled an extra blanket over the slayer.

Buffy softly snorted and shrugged.

"Do you mean physically or emotionally? Because, oh I don't know, I think I might be having a nervous break down." She smoothed her hand over her stomach. She quickly looked up at Tara, grabbing her hand and holding it over her belly.

Tara's eyes flew opened as she felt the decidedly firm kick. "Buffy…I…he's…"

"He's real." Buffy voice was firm. "I don't know, for some really bizarre reason I thought once Giles got here we'd do some sort of spell and poof, no more baby. But he's real Tara. I'm carrying a life in by body. I can feel myself nourishing him and I can feel him growing." With a quick intake of breath at her sudden realization, the slayer held Tara's eyes.

"He's mine Tara. He's mine and that fucking bitch can never take him back." She was fierce. Angel stood at the doorway and watched his lover make her declaration.

"He's our baby. And no one will ever take him from us." Angel took Buffy in his arms as Tara quietly left the room, a small smile playing at her lips. Only on the Hellmouth, she thought.

* * *

Tara snuggled deeper into her lover's arms and took a deep breath in of his scent.

"Mmmm…love the way you smell. You're so…so…mmmm…Spike." She threw her leg over his hip and pushed her center into him.

"Baby, are you ready for me again?" He couldn't help but chuckle at his little flower. Tara had quickly overcome her shyness with him and was constantly surprising him with her adore.

"Spike, stop. It isn't all about sex. I…I…just love you so much. And I'm so glad we have had a relatively drama free life." Her thoughts were on Buffy and Angel, her new friends. Although she and Buffy had been acquainted while she was with Willow, Tara just started to forge a real friendship with the slayer.

"Hmm, let's see…you can still say that after all that's gone on tonight?" He rolled her over on her back and wedged himself between her legs.

"That's just my point. It's their drama, not ours." She pushed him back to look up into his face.

"Spike?"

Sighing, Spike pulled back to wait for what his woman had to say.

"Well, I was thinking, if Giles is coming back, well that probably means…"

"It means that Willow will probably be coming back as well. Yeah, I kinda figured that when the little bit gave the old sod a call earlier." Spike finished her thought.

"I don't want to keep us a secret. I know that the real situation here is about Buffy and we have to put her and that baby first. But I, we need to let Willow know about us. If she's coming back it may be to stay. I know she'll want to be here for Buffy." She pulled Spike back to lay on top of her as she opened her legs and pushed herself up into him with a deep groan.

Spike let loose a growl as he entered his girl. "Oh baby, do you know what you do to me?"

"Mmmm, keep doing it to me my love, please never stop." Tara felt heat spread throughout her body as Spike began to move in her.

"Never gonna stop baby." Spike let Tara carry him away.

* * *

Spike rolled over and retrieved the small box from the nightstand. Well, he thought, it's now or never. Once the watcher and the witch get here, everything would be focused on the pregnant slayer. He wanted to do this while it was just the two of them.

"Love?" The vampire looked down at his lover.

"Umm?" Tara stretched and smiled up at her vampire.

"There's something…well, Tara…" Spike hesitated.

Tara sat up, confused at Spike's demeanor. And just a little bit scared. Things had been going so well, it seemed to make sense that something bad would happen. This was Sunnydale, after all.

"What Spike? What's wrong?" He could hear the dread in her voice.

"Oh, no sweet, nothing like that. Nothing's wrong." He smiled at her and opened the box in his hand.

Tara looked down at the contents and blinked. It held a deep blue sapphire with a diamond on either side in a silver setting. It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. She looked up to Spike, a question on her face.

"Baby, I love you and I want you to be mine. Tara love, will you marry me?" He held his breath. This was the first time in his life, undead or otherwise, that he'd asked someone to marry him. He couldn't believe just how nervous he was.

"This is an engagement ring? Oh goddess Spike, it's perfect. I love it." She held out her left hand, waiting for him to slide it on her finger.

"Oh, and yes, yes, I will marry you." She giggled.

* * *

Buffy looked over at Angel to make sure he was asleep. Of course, she could never really be sure, as he never breathed. She shrugged and swung her legs out of their bed, pushing her slippers on before she rose and grabbed her robe.

"You okay baby?" Angel asked.

"Jeez, could you give some sort of signal that you're not asleep? I mean, honestly Angel, it's kinda wiggin' to never know." She put her robe on and headed for the door.

"Buffy, did you really expect me to sleep after the events of today?" He drew himself up on his elbows and looked at his extremely pregnant girlfriend. Girlfriend?

"Baby? Will you marry me?"

Buffy blinked several times before she even considered answering him.

"Are you insane? I mean really Angel, after all the shit that went down tonight, you expect me to take a question like that seriously?"

"Guess I was groggy from lack of sleep, otherwise I would've never asked such an inappropriate question of my pregnant girlfriend. What the fuck was I thinking?" She could tell he was pist.

"Angel, sweetheart, I need some time. Some space to breath. I love you, but look at me. I was instantly impregnated with your ex-lover's baby. I need time to come to terms with this fact." She opened the bedroom door.

"I need a drink of water. I'll be up in a few." Buffy turned back. "I do love you baby, I always have and I always will. Just…our life, it was finally falling into place, and now…" She laid her hand on her stomach.

"I know sweetheart, sorry I pushed. I just…" He shrugged at his inability to continue.

"I know." She smiled at him for the first time that evening and it made his heart swell.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He was hopeful.

She gave a small laugh. "No, I think I need to just sit for a bit. I'll be up soon."

* * *

Buffy sat back on the couch, her glass of water in hand. She laid her head back and absently drew circles on her stomach. Looking down at her large size she chuckled.

"So little one, how totally bizarre is all this? I'll bet you were surprised to be suddenly popped into my warm belly after being in that cold bitch? Sorry, know she's your mom and all, but, she gave you to me and I've got to be honest with you, I'm not giving you back. I may not have asked for this, but here we are and now you're mine." Buffy took a deep drink from her glass.

"You're going to be born into a whole lot of drama and total weirdness. I mean, you dad is a vampire, you're mom is a vampire slayer, one aunt was the key to a different dimension. Another aunt is a magical addicted witch and her ex is going to be your other aunt who happens to live with your dad's grand-childe. Oh, the soap opera that is our lives is never-ending." Buffy smiled as she felt her baby move.

"But I promise you one thing sweetie, you are going to be so loved and so cherished. And one day, we will tell you about your biological, if she even has a biology, anyway, your biological mother. But you cannot go looking for her. And since I am the slayer, I'll be stronger than you so I can keep you from trying." She sighed deeply and got up to go back to bed.

"There, I feel so much better now that we've had this talk." The baby gently moved in her stomach and Buffy took this as his agreement.

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Feedback: Welcomed and appreciated **

* * *

Buffy looked at the monitor as the doctor glided the probe over her belly and held tight onto Angel's hand.

Tara had called a friend from her Wicca group, who also happed to be a gynecologist. Apparently, she knew of the happenings on the Hellmouth and agreed to open her office for them after-hours.

"Well, you appear to have a healthy, normal," she stressed the word, "35 week old fetus." The doctor smiled at the sour face Buffy made at the word.

"Baby." The doctor rectified.

Dr. Lambert stood up and removed her gloves, handing Buffy a towel to wipe her stomach off. "Get dressed and come into my office, we'll talk."

Once the doctor had left, Buffy turned her head from Angel and bit her lip to keep from crying. She was so scared, she could hardly contain it. It was one thing to battle the end of the world and win and quite another to be carrying another human being in her body. Especially her lover's child, one that neither of them thought was even remotely a possibility.

"Baby?" Angel's voice held love and it pushed Buffy even closer to tears. "Come on sweetheart. Let's get dressed and go talk to the doctor." He wiped off her stomach and smiled as he pulled her underwear on.

"Okay, enough, I can dress myself. Just help me off of this thing. I am so not used to being so fat. I can hardly move." She grunted as Angel lifted her off the table and gently put her on her feet.

"Jeez," she was looking down, "I can't see my feet, is this right?" She looked up at her lover.

Angel shrugged. "I guess, but this is my first pregnancy too. We'll get some books."

As Buffy continued to get dressed, she continued to talk at a rapid fire rate, causing Angel to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"Okay, so how am I gonna patrol? I mean, much of a joke here? Look at me. And what about Dawnie, family services is so gonna look at this as a bad thing. The whole morality issue, you know? And, oh my god, Giles will be here in the morning and I just know Willow is gonna be with him." She rolled her eyes at Angel. "She's so going to flip about Tara and Spike, I mean, they cannot keep their hands off each other…and now they're engaged?"

Angel took the slayer by her shoulders and turned her to face him.

"Baby, calm down. We'll work everything out. We'll let Willow and Tara and Spike work out their own problems. Family services will not take Dawn because you're pregnant. As far as anybody else is concerned, we're engaged and we can take care of Dawnie together. Patrolling? Spike and I will take care of it." He pulled her close to him. "Better?"

"Better? Better? I'm over half way through a pregnancy and I'm freakin'." She pushed her face into his chest and breathed his scent in, it always calmed her. "Okay, let's go see the doctor."

* * *

"Okay Ms. Summers…"

"Buffy, please." Buffy interrupted the doctor.

Dr. Lambert smiled and nodded. "Okay Buffy. You are about 35 weeks into this pregnancy and the regular gestation period is approximately 40…"

"I'm going to have this baby in 5 weeks?" The panic in her voice was palatable. "I don't know just how much Tara told you, but…" She hesitated, unable to continue as her breathing was coming in short gasps.

The doctor nodded. "Calm down, relax Buffy. Tara told me enough, I think." Looking at Angel, she continued in a very soothing voice. "You are Angel, a vampire with a soul, interesting. Your sire was somehow miraculously impregnated with your seed. Said sire used a device to make the transference, the baby was sent from her womb to yours. Am I on course?"

For some reason, Buffy was calmed by the doctor and smiled. "All nails hit on all heads. Wow, I can't believe you're so...accepting of all this, but I suppose being a Wicca on the Hellmouth and all. Yea for Tara's friends." Buffy sighed. "Is it normal? The baby, I mean, Darla said she had him tested and that he's human. Can you tell…"

The doctor smiled, realizing for the first time just how young the slayer was. Young and so filled with acceptance herself. She could tell the girl was going to hold this child as her own. She shook those thoughts from her head.

"All I can tell from the ultrasound is that he looks healthy, he looks human and…do you want to know the sex?"

Buffy turned to Angel, her eyes questioning. "I mean, we've been calling the baby a he, but I would kinda like to know for sure…Angel?"

He nodded.

"Yes, please." Buffy smiled at the light in his eyes. Gods how she loved this man. Despite all this, the main point in her mind at this moment was that she was having her soul mate's baby. And really, she asked herself, was that so bad?

The doctor smiled at the look on the young girl's face. "Okay then," she pulled out one of the images she had just taken and faced it towards the couple, "you see that?"

They both nodded. "Is that what I think it is?" Buffy asked.

"Umm hmm, you are having a boy."

Buffy laughed and clapped her hands together as she looked up at Angel.

"A son Angel, we're having a son." She turned back to the image.

Angel swallowed deeply and fought the tears he felt prick at his eyes.

"Thank you doctor. But how does it all look, I mean for Buffy. Does it appear normal? Will she have a normal delivery? She's so small and…"

She held up her hand to stop the onslaught of concern.

"As far as we can tell, Buffy body is somehow just where it should be. We'll keep an eye on her, most certainly. Come in again in a week, same time. By then I'll have all the lab tests and we can go over them. I'll reserve clinic space for her here, we probably shouldn't deliver in the hospital unless absolutely necessary." She took several cards from her desk and wrote an additional number on them. "Call me anytime, day or night, my cell's on the back. You know you two, this is a miracle. I feel very honored to be able to help you with this." She rose to let them out.

"Why doctor?" Angel asked. "Why are you helping us? You know who I am, what I was…"

She smiled. "Was being the operative word. We all have a past Angel and we all have the choice to move on and make a better future. Let me just say that I was given a chance and I like to pay it forward whenever I can." She shook both their hands and let them out into the parking lot.

"Thank you so much doctor." Buffy reached over and hugged the woman.

"Please, both of you, call me Sarah. Not very often I have after hours patients, seems we can make it a little less formal. Besides, Tara said she'd be sending her famous banana nut cake next time I see you, baked goods always breeds informality." She laughed.

* * *

Buffy sat next to Angel as they waited for Tara to bring Giles from the airport. Dawnie was excitedly picking out wall paper and paint chips in preparation for the nursery.

"What do you think?" She held up a sea foam green piece of paper.

"For what?" Buffy asked, she got up and went to sit by her sister.

"For the walls, of course. I know he's a boy but blue is just so ten years ago. Oh! And look at this wall paper! Too cute, don't 'cha think? Angel?" Dawn held it out for his inspection. He smiled and joined his two girls. Dawn's enthusiasm was infectious and he was down on the floor with her when Tara came in with Giles and Willow.

"Hey you guys, look who's here." All three heads turned towards Tara's voice.

Buffy hoisted her small body up from the chair she was sitting in, with Angel's help. Giles and Willow's eyes flew opened in astonishment.

"Oh my goodness, Buffy. I…how progressed is this pregnancy?" Giles voice was incredulous.

"35 weeks, which explains the paint chips and wall paper all over the floor." She went to embrace her watcher as Angel fought an unexpected spurt of jealousy.

Dawn bounced up and took Angel's arm, pulling him forward to greet the newly arrived guests. He smiled down at the girl, appreciative of her inclusion.

"Giles, Willow, it's so good to see you. I mean isn't all this just too exciting? I'm gonna be an auntie, oh my god Willow, so are you." Dawn giggled as she laid her head on Angel's arm. She was happier than she had been since her mother died, since Buffy died. She had her family now and despite this weird thing with Buffy, maybe even more because of it, they were happy. She was actually surprised at how easily Buffy had accepted the baby. She was sure her sister would mope and be mad at Angel, but last night after they had returned from the doctor…

_Angel had gone out to run a quick patrol and Buffy had pulled Dawn into the living room and hugged her. She pulled out several scans and handed them over._

"_Look Dawnie, it's the baby. And look at this, it's his…well you know." Buffy had giggled and Dawn couldn't help but follow her lead._

"_Oh my goodness Buffy, it's all so real. How are you feeling?" Dawn ran her hand over her sister's stomach._

_Taking a deep breath, Buffy shrugged. "Besides feeling like an instant whale, I feel really good. Actually, great. Oh Dawnie, I never expected to have kids, you know? Let alone Angel's baby. In my deepest fantasies, maybe, but never…" She hesitated, almost as if she were coming to most of these realizations as they spoke._

"_I mean Dawn, I'm carrying the child of the only man I could ever love. It doesn't matter that he was in that bitch's stomach first. He's here now and he's mine. No one Dawn, no one will ever take him or Angel from me. They're mine." She smiled at her sister. "They're ours." _

_Dawn basked in the love she felt coming off of her sister, for Angel, for the baby, and for her. This was her family and she would do anything she could to protect them. She loved her sister in maternal mode._

Giles held Buffy in his embrace for a moment before pushing her away at arms length to look, really look, at his slayer. She was so pregnant. But she was also glowing with an inner radiance that almost took his breath away. It wasn't possible that she could've accepted this so completely in just a few days passing. Surely there had to be more magic than any of them were aware of yet.

"Gods Buffy, how are you? Are you…" Giles sputtered a bit.

Buffy laughed. "Oh Giles, I'm fine really. It's all so weird. I mean really, me pregnant? But we saw a doctor last night and I seem to be fine. The tests will be back next week, but…" Buffy turned to her best friend.

"So, what a difference a couple of months make, huh?" She went to embrace Willow.

"Wow Buff, just…wow." She laid her hand on the slayer's stomach and smiled. "Well, he certainly feels happy." Willow smiled at Buffy.

Tara smiled at the group. "Well, I have to go. Umm, maybe Spike and I can come over later, after the sun goes down." She started to back up as Willow tuned to her.

"Tara, sweetie, maybe you could just hang. I mean, it's Saturday. No classes." Her voice was hopeful.

"Umm, yeah, well…I really need to stop at the grocery store and then stop in at Willy's to pick up some blood for Spike…" She almost groaned at her slip.

"Pick up blood for Spike? Can't he do his own…" Willow really focused in on her ex-lover. The look on her face, her aura, her smell.

"Oh my god, how did I not see this?" Her eyes fell to Tara's left hand as the blond Wicca quickly attempted to cover her ring.

Oh goddess, Tara thought, how could I forget to take my ring off?

"Willow, please. Now isn't the time. We're here for Buffy, we can talk about this later…" Tara was backing up, trying to fight the fear at Willow's discovery.

Willow blinked as she saw that emotion in her ex-lover's eyes.

"Tara, no…don't. Gods, what have I become?" She looked up at Giles. "Am I really so scary?"

Giles patted her arm. "Well my dear, you are very powerful and…" He took her hand and led her to the couch. "We'll talk later, right now let's focus at the problem at hand, yes?"

She nodded. "Yes, of course." A sad tinge to her voice.

Tara went to Willow. "We'll talk later. You, me and Spike." She turned to Buffy and Angel. "Call us if you need us to come over, okay?"

Angel nodded as he left Buffy's side to walk Tara out. "Thanks Tara, we'll figure it all out. You go and relax with my grand-childe." He gave her forehead a soft kiss.

Angel turned back to the assembled group and grimaced. He knew Buffy wanted Giles and Willow here, but he wished now that he had talked her out of it when he saw the looks both Giles and Willow were giving him.

Dawn saw it too and went to her future brother-in-law. She took his arm and led him to sit next to her sister.

"So, how exciting is all this? I mean, not only are we gonna have a double wedding, but a new baby too. I'm so thrilled I'm hardly sleeping." The doorbell rang and she turned to answer it. "Must be Xander with the food."

* * *

Dawn set the pizzas on the dining room table then handed out paper plates. Xander took three slices, picking off the anchovies and tossing them on Dawn's plate. Willow picked off small pieces of cheese, not really tasting anything she put in her mouth. And Giles, Buffy and Angel spoke in hushed tones on the living room couch.

"Can you be sure Darla didn't lie to you regarding the circumstances about her pregnancy? This could be an attempt to…" The watcher hesitated. "I don't know, but really Buffy, you are the slayer and this hinders your duties…"

"Giles, just stop! Maybe I shouldn't have called you. I mean, I'm scared, not like I had eight months to prepare for this. But it happened and it's real. Honestly Giles, Tara said she could feel the baby's energy, his aura, and he's good. A real baby. And the doctor, she said the same thing. We'll have the results from the blood tests next week but she's sure it'll all be good." Buffy looked over at her quiet vampire.

Giles looked over at Angel as well. "Angel? Do you have anything to add to this? Do you feel that you can just take all this at face value? You know Darla better than any of us, you honestly don't think she could have an ulterior motive?"

Angel shrugged. "I suppose anything's possible, but where we stand right now it appears that Buffy is carrying my fully human child. What else do you want from me Giles?"

"I would appreciate a little realism. For god's sake man, we're on the Hellmouth and my slayer has been magically impregnated! You all think this is…somehow sweet, romantic…my god Angel! You've been combating evil long enough to know that all is not always as it appears."

"What can we do until the baby is born Giles? I'll take care of my own. And that is Buffy, Dawn and now my baby." The dark vampire's voice was deceptively soft. But when he looked up at Giles, his eyes held the anger his voice was not allowing to escape.

"Okay now." Buffy finally spoke up. "Here's the way it is, I'm having Angel's baby whether you like it or not, whether you approve or not. You can stay and help, you can support me or you can go. It's not like I'm gonna let anyone or anything take him away from me. Giles, I feel him, he's mine now." She looked up at Angel, a soft smile playing at her lips.

"Maybe, just maybe Giles, this is my reward. Our reward for all we've done for the world. Maybe we get just this small bit of happiness in our everyday of fighting the good fight." Her voice hardened just slightly. "This was given to me and I'm not giving any of it up. Not Dawn, not Angel and not this baby."

Dawn, Xander and Willow stood in the entrance to the living room and nodded their agreement.

"Giles," Willow went to her mentor, "we can help, make sure Buffy's safe. That the baby's safe." She smiled up at Angel. "You all deserve some respite and maybe we can make sure it all stays on the right path."

Giles sighed deeply. "Angel, Buffy, I'm just afraid…" he looked at Buffy, "you've accepted this all so easily, it's not natural Buffy, what if…"

Buffy shook her head. "Stop Giles. I can't say if it's something magical. Maybe it is, but all I really know is this, these past months with Angel have been the happiest in my whole life. I don't know where I'd be, how'd I'd be if I didn't get this chance with him. And now this," her hands went to her stomach, "I don't have all the answers Giles, all I really know is that this is right."

Willow took her mentor's hand. "We'll stay Buffy, both Giles and I will be here for you."

**-- Okay, there's two ways I can go from here. One's fluffy, we all know how I love the fluff. The other's a bit more angsty. I haven't quite decided yet, but both have basically been written. Let me know what you think. ;)**

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

**Feedback: Welcomed and appreciated **

* * *

"So, how did Red take it?" Spike was rubbing Tara's shoulders.

"Actually, pretty well. I so cannot believe I left my ring on. I mean, can you say Freudian slip?" She leaned into his ministrations.

She felt him shrug. "Guess you wanted it all taken care of so we could focus on Buffy."

"Yeah, I think your right." She turned in his arms and pulled him down on top of her.

"I think we need to celebrate our engagement, don't you?" She reached down to unzip his pants.

"Sometimes I think all you want me for is my body." He chuckled as he pushed himself off her to strip out of his clothes. He lay down next to her, running his fingers over her breast, down her stomach, into her quickly dampening core. She arched up into his hand.

"Well, yeah, among other things." She groaned.

"We'll see about that young lady." He spread her legs and pushed himself deeply into her.

"Goddess Spike! Yes, yes!" Tara panted.

"Yes what baby?" He ran his teeth over his mark.

"Love me Spike, please love me." She groaned.

"Oh Tara, only every second of everyday."

* * *

The doctor filed away all her paper work on the slayer and her vampire lover in a hidden vault. She stood up and flexed her tired shoulders, a furrow worrying her brow. She knew she was playing both sides of the fence, but she felt she had no choice.

When Tara had come to her, asking her a series of 'what if' questions, Sarah immediately knew what had happened and her first response had been to tell the young Wicca the truth. That was quickly replaced with a need to protect her as well as the slayer and the vampire's child. If the truth were known by any of these people, they would distrust her and she could no longer offer the protection she knew was her responsibility. She heard the rustle of the wind and turned to greet her visitors.

* * *

"Only 2 weeks to go Buff, are you feeling about ready to pop? 'Cuz honestly, you look about ready to drop a watermelon there. And I mean a county fair, blue ribbon prize winner." Xander was putting the last touches to the paint in the baby's nursery.

"Jeez Xander, always knew I could count on you for reassuring compliments." Buffy had to smile at her best friend as she rubbed a sore spot on her lower back. After all his anger, all his jealousy, Xander seemed to have spent himself out. He landed on her porch, a bag of sour gummie bears and two pints of blood in hand. Finally making peace with both the slayer and her vampire lover, Xander had become a means of support, a lifeline when all the fears would cave in on Buffy. He always seemed to have a quip to turn her doubts around and make her laugh.

Unfortunately, Anya wasn't prepared to share her boyfriend with his group of 'do-gooders'. _'It's me or them Xander, and I'm sure none of them will give you all the free sex I will.'_

Xander tried to change her mind, but she wouldn't budge and Xander couldn't, wouldn't desert Buffy when she needed him most. Angel seemed to need him as well, or at the very least, tolerate him. The younger boy went on patrol with the big vampire and found he could hold his own without Buffy to run interference.

So Anya left for New York, she felt she'd be able to meet a man who could support her in the way she really wanted to live. _'Not a loser lap dog that pounds nails all day and pretends to be a superhero at night.'_

It had hurt Xander deeply, but with his usual sense of humor, he shrugged and bought an X-Box to take his mind off his ex-lover. Buffy had to smile at his quick recovery, two weeks had to be some kind of record, she thought with a roll of her eyes.

Now he was finishing up the nursery while Angel was in Los Angeles for a couple of days.

Buffy finished folding the last of the itty bitty t-shirts Dawn had bought for the baby. They were so small, Buffy burst into giggles every time she saw them.

Xander shook his head with a small smile. He never thought he'd see the slayer like this. Happy, almost carefree. And pregnant. Who'd a thunk? Xander turned back to his painting and let the slayer continue her fussing.

"So, I'm done, what 'cha think?" Xander smiled as his work.

"It's beautiful Xander, the baby's gonna love it." She stood next to Xander, taking his arm as she admired the room. The orginal train and teddy bear wall paper had been replaced with a lovely forest mural, hand painted by Angel. Buffy didn't want him working so hard, but he insisted and Xander agreed. "Jeez Buff, in a couple of years it's gonna be just too little girly for him, we gotta make sure we man him up conisdering all the women he's gonna be surrounded by."

"Thank you so much Xand. Not just for this…I don't know…"

Xander patted the hand on his arm. "No worries, I mean, you're my best friend. How could I not be a part of you life?"

"You couldn't." Buffy smiled and walked her renewed best friend downstairs.

* * *

The slayer was alone in the house for the evening, an event she was relishing. Giles had taken Willow out to dinner and Dawn was spending the night with Tara and Spike. For the first time in what seemed like forever, Buffy was able to sit down with a hot cup of herbal tea and a good book. She was delighted.

Buffy slipped her book under her arm before she opened the medicine cabinet and took out the tablets the doctor had given her. Looking at herself in the mirror, she tried to imagine herself as a mother. Changing diapers, breast feeding – she looked down at her huge breasts and laughed, Angel sure liked this aspect of her pregnancy. Still smiling, she continued with her original musing. She'd be doing pre-school and car pools, collage funds and keeping girls away until her son was at least 21. She wondered what the other mothers would think of her night job. A small laugh escaped.

She felt more than heard it, someone was in the house. Someone who wasn't invited and it couldn't be a demon; Willow had cast a powerful protection spell. Slowly opening the bathroom door, Buffy felt her way down the darkened hallway and peered down the stairway as she cocked her head in confusion.

"Sarah?" What was her doctor doing here? And what was she doing just walking into her house? She might be pregnant but she could still kick some evil ass if she had to.

"Buffy." The doctor's voice was hushed and urgent. "Please, forgive me for just bursting in like this. We need to talk. It's about the baby. And you and Angel."

* * *

Angel could hardly wait to get home. He smiled at the notion, home. Yes, that was how he felt about the house on Revello Drive. Of course, he'd feel that way about anyplace Buffy was.

He pulled into the driveway and his senses revved up, he felt something wasn't quite right. Rushing, he left his bags in the car and sprinted to the front door.

"Buffy?"

"In here babe, we're in here." Buffy's voice came from the living room.

"We? Who's here?" Angel relaxed his shoulders when he saw Buffy's doctor sitting on the couch.

"Sarah." Angel nodded at the doctor. "Buffy, is everything okay?" He went to her side, taking her hand in his.

"Well, yes and no." She smiled weakly up at her lover.

Sarah took a deep breath and spoke up. "Angel, I came here tonight to…well I guess to confess."

Angel's fear rose at that word. "Confess?"

Buffy took Angel's hand and pulled him down to sit next to her.

"I suppose you already know how Tara and I met."

Angel shook his head in the negative.

"Okay then, well, Tara was looking for a Wicca group. She had stumbled upon a group of wicca-wanna-bes that really didn't answer her needs. So she did some more research and ended up at my doorstep." She breathed in deeply. "I've been the head of my coven for some…well, for about the better part of the past century."

"What are you?" Angel didn't sense any demon and couldn't quit figure her out, but he also knew he was scared.

She smiled at the confusion she saw in his face. "Well, not a demon. I was one of the original vestal virgins, taken from my family at a very young age. Taken because of my sight."

Buffy's face screwed up in confusion. "You were taken away because you could see? What, was there like a generation of blind girls?"

Angel rolled his eyes and Sara just smiled. "Um, no. The sight I'm speaking of is the ability to see the future. I was, am, a seer."

With an embarrassed giggle, Buffy shrugged. "Should've known that."

"When I was twelve I was taken to the temple and given over to the high priestess. She versed me in the ways of devotion to the life I was to live. To remain a virgin, to read the future of kings and emperors, a life devoted to service. What wasn't expected was that I would fall in love with a centurion during my 23rd year. And that he would fall in love with me as well." There was a sadness in her voice that broke Buffy's heart.

"Oh wow, so what happened? Did you leave the temple and run off with him?" Buffy was so taken up in the romance of her doctor, she forgot about the supposed warning.

"I'm sure this is a fascinating story, but didn't you say you had a warning for us?" Angel pushed.

Sara smiled. "Yes, but I need you to know who I was, who I am, which will help to explain what I know."

"Sorry for my un-romantic boyfriend. Please continue." Buffy elbowed Angel and shushed him.

"Please Angel, just be patient for a few more minutes, I promise this won't take long." Sara beseeched before returning to her story. "I did run away with my centurion, but we didn't get far. And as a vestal virgin, I really wasn't much good if I wasn't one, a virgin I mean. I was pregnant with my lover's child and a disgrace to my temple as well as my family. For what I did, I should've been stoned to death. But because of my gift, I was allowed to give birth, my child whisked from my side almost as soon as he was born and then I was imprisoned. My whole purpose became to give the emperor a glimpse into the future, his future."

Sara stood and went to the fireplace before continuing. "The gods weren't please that I was spared, but they were even more displeased with the high priestess for keeping me for the emperor's personal sage. One night, as I lay on my cot, a vision came to me with an offer. '_Immortality_,' she said, '_and the chance to be with your son. The only thing we ask is that you give us you complete and utter devotion and obedience.'"_

"What did you do?" Buffy was enthralled.

"Well, I accepted. I was allowed to be with my son, to watch him become a good man, to marry, to watch him raise his children, to love my grandchildren. Then, my life was turned over to the service of the gods and goddesses. With time, I came to know them for whom, for what they really are." She looked up at Angel.

"The Powers That Be." Angel sat next to Buffy, his anxiety growing.

"Yes, the Powers That Be. They were the instigators of the mystical pregnancy. Darla was to take her own life giving birth to your son...". Sara rubbed her forehead before continuing.

"No one expected Darla to find a way to rid her self of the baby. And to hand it over to you. Someone who would love him, protect him, make him her own. He was to live a very different sort of life."

"What do you mean? Different sort of life, what kind of life?" Angel found himself gripping Buffy's hand with her gripping right back.

"A difficult life, a life that would mold him into a warrior, at a very accelerated rate. Now, the powers are unsure, which as I'm sure you know is not something the powers are used to. This wasn't to happen. When Tara came to me, all I wanted to do was make sure you were safe. That the baby was safe. The powers came to me and told me to take the baby once he was born and spirit him to an alternate dimension. For his safety. But I could never separate a child from his mother, the pain…I was spared that and I had to do that for you." Sara nervously paced as she spoke. "But now, I'm not sure what recourse the powers will take, against you or me."

"So, your warning is about the powers, that they may try to take our son?" Angel asked.

Nodding, Sara sat down again. "I suppose so. I'm not really sure. I just knew you had to know about all this. They may do nothing, as you now know of their plans. Or they may try to take him, as a precaution. I just don't know."

"Angel, I'm scared, I don't want to lose our baby. I can't lose our baby." Buffy moved in closer to her lover when suddenly a bright light illuminated the room and the slayer disappeared.

* * *

**--Still not sure which direction I'll be going with this one, but I've almost finished an alternate storyline - cheers!**

* * *


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

* * *

Buffy held her hands protectively over her stomach as she scanned the room she was in. All she could see was white, but no doors, no windows, as far as she could tell, not even a ceiling. The only reason she knew there was a floor was because she was standing up.

"Hello! Where am I? And what the hell do you want?" Buffy hollered.

"I see we have the warrior here."

Buffy turned to the voice and was greeted by a robed figure.

"Okay buster, who the hell are you and why am I here?" The slayer demanded.

"Really now, a little more respect. I am, after all, one of the powers. As for why you are here? Soon enough warrior, soon enough."

The figure slowly walked around the young woman.

"You have a warrior within your womb, a being whose purpose has already been written. And as you are a warrior yourself, with a calling you have never turned away from, I'm sure you can see that his mission must be put back on track."

Buffy breathed deeply attempting to control her panic.

"I see no such thing. Everything changed when Darla gave him to me. This baby is mine now and I'll raise him as a warrior. Okay?" She heard the pleading in her voice and cringed, but she'd do anything to keep her baby safe. "But I'll also raise him as my son, with love, with my protection, with…" She was cut off.

"Yes, yes. We are well aware of what the vampire did to our plans. And we are aware that you have taken on the responsibility of the child. However, we cannot wait, your world cannot wait for him to achieve his birthright in this atmosphere you will chose for him." The being stopped its' movement and stood in front of the slayer, lowering the robe from his head, he looked deeply into her eyes.

"You have a decision to make slayer. Out of respect of your many sacrifices, we are giving you a choice."

Buffy swallowed deeply. "Okay, just spit it out already. You guys make such drama. Just tell me."

The Power shrugged. "You will have the child; it will be up to you to stay with him or to let him go."

"What kind of choice is that?" Her voice held anger. "He's mine; I'll never let him go."

"Then the decision has been made."

* * *

As quick as Buffy had disappeared, she was back and Angel ran to her.

"Buffy, baby, are you alright? What happened?" Angel sat her down on the couch.

"I don't know Angel, I…I'm not sure." She looked up at her lover as a wave of pain crossed her face.

"Angel! Oh my god!" Buffy grimaced as she felt moisture spreading through her clothing. "Oh shit!" She looked over at Sarah.

"Your water broke." The doctor turned to Angel. "We better get her to the clinic. Now."

Angel's eyes were wide and he nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He went to lift Buffy, but she cried out in pain again.

"Angel, no. I can't move. It really hurts!" Buffy looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

Sara grimaced and gently pushed Angel aside, lifting Buffy's robe, she gingerly pulled her underwear down.

"I'm sorry, I need to see how dilated you are." She spoke softly to the slayer. The doctor bit her lip and turned to Angel. "Please, carry Buffy up to your bedroom. Then I need you to get some clean sheets and towels."

Buffy was fighting the panic that was threatening to over take her.

"What's wrong? Why aren't we going to the clinic?" Her voice was high pitched and Angel felt her fear.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just that you are fully dilated. This baby wants to be born now and I don't think we have time to make it to my offices." She smiled at Angel. "Take her up and I'll go get my bag from my car. Don't worry, I've delivered plenty of babies and she's very healthy. She is the slayer, after all."

Once she left, Angel lifted Buffy into his arms and kissed her gently. "In just a little while it'll be the three of us. I love you Buffy."

Buffy breathed in deeply as another contraction hit. "Oh I love you too. But I'll love you even more once I have this baby of yours outta me."

* * *

Buffy was exhausted but she couldn't keep the grin off her face as she continued to stare at her miracle baby. He was perfect, all ten toes, all ten fingers, and his perfect huge head. How in the heck did that thing come out of me, she asked herself?

"Baby, you should try and get some sleep. Let me take him." Angel reached for his son as Buffy reluctantly allowed him to take his son.

"Look at him Angel. He's perfect, he's…he's ours. Wow." Angel had to laugh at his mates' articulation.

"Yeah baby, he's ours. Now, let me take him so you can rest." He took his son, cradling him, the awe showing clearly in his eyes.

"Okay, just hold his head. And make sure you don't put him on his stomach, I read that it's not so good." She paused and looked to the doctor. "How long before I'm up and around?"

"Well, your healing abilities are remarkable. You had no need of suturing and the bleeding has already stopped. Just get a good night sleep and I'm confidant you'll be up and around by tomorrow." She shook her head, amazed at the quick recovery the slayer was making. She turned to Angel.

"Wake her in about 3 hours to feed…your son." Sara looked back to Buffy. "Have you decided on a name for him?"

Buffy looked to her mate. "Yes." Angel smiled down at his lover and nodded.

"Connor Liam Summers." He looked at Sara. "You do need to fill out his birth certificate, right? I mean, I'm centuries old, don't think my name will…"

The ex-vestal virgin smiled back at the couple. "I think with my connections I can come up with a birth certificate and a passport. What was your name back in the day?"

Buffy spoke up with a tired smile. "Liam Cameron McGinnis."

* * *

Giles had given his slayer a few weeks to settle in with her son. The watcher had to shake his head at that notion, her son. He and Angel had spoken briefly about Buffy's visit with the Powers and what it could possibly mean.

"_Maybe, just maybe, they'll let us be." Angel said, trying to convince himself as well as Giles._

"_I don't know Angel, all we can do is protect them and see what time brings us." Giles was as unconvinced as the souled vampire._

Now Giles was sitting in the Summers' living room, watching Buffy feed her son. She had recovered quickly, but had refused to leave Conner alone. She sent Angel, Xander and Spike out on patrol and would not speak to anyone about what had occurred during her visit with the Powers.

"Buffy, we need to talk about what happened." Giles gently prodded.

"Giles, I don't know what happened. Really, I just…"

"Please Buffy, humor me. Tell me what was said again."

Buffy sighed deeply as she finished feeding her baby. She buttoned her shirt before removing the blanket that covered her and her son. Buffy turned back to Giles, tears forming in her eyes.

"Giles, honestly, I'm not really sure. He asked me to make a decision, to let my child go or to stay with him. And I told him I would never leave my baby. And then he said the decision was made." She shrugged. "So now, I'm not leaving my baby."

She rose and put Conner in his bassinet before turning back to her watcher. Angel had been standing in the foyer, listening. He walked in and Buffy looked up at him, fighting the tears that threatened to fall.

"I just don't know what it means. All I know is that it scared me and…I just don't know…" Buffy sighed.

"We'll figure it out sweetheart, we'll protect Conner and we'll figure it out." He held his lover close and cast a worried glance at Giles.

"Of course we will." Giles agreed.

* * *

Buffy and Angel came home after patrolling to find Willow napping on the couch as Giles rocked the baby, a book opened before him. He looked up and smiled.

"How was it out there tonight?" The watcher had sent them to check up on a nest of Neezla demons.

"Demons alive, then demons dead, you know, the usual." Buffy smiled at her watcher before throwing herself on the couch next to Willow, startling the red head.

"What!..." Willow blinked several times before her eyes rested on Giles holding Conner.

"Sorry Giles, just couldn't keep my eyes open." She smiled at the watcher.

"It's fine Willow, Conner slept the whole while." The watcher ran a gentle finger down the 4 month old's cheek before looking over at Buffy. "He's a very good boy."

She smiled and nodded in agreement before nudging Willow.

"Well, I guess next time we'll just leave the baby with Giles and you can go home." Buffy teased her best friend. She got up again and took the baby from Giles.

Buffy laid Conner in the small bassinet that had taken up permanent residence in the living room. She turned to Angel biting her lip. Things were settling down some, her paranoia regarding her son was starting to diminish and since her marriage to Angel a month earlier Buffy kept pinching herself. Life was good. So good she was afraid to think about it in case she somehow jinxed it. Which was why the feeling that was creeping up her spine was making her catch her breath. Shaking the feeling off she went back to Willow.

"Did Dawn finish her paper?" She asked Willow.

"Um hmm, Tara and Spike came over to help her with it. He's quite the history buff."

"Well, considering he lived it, it merely requires jogging his memory." Angel quipped.

"Be nice husband." Buffy kissed Angel before going back to Conner. She frowned and shook her head. Something felt off, she couldn't put a finger on what exactly, but something wasn't right.

"Willow? Angel? Do you feel…"

A whoosh of wind hit the back of Buffy's head, whipping her hair into her face. Turning back to Conner's crib, she saw the tunnel of light open up, an arm of what looked like electricity aimed at her son. She screamed as she grabbed for the baby, the vortex grabbing at the both of them.

She turned to look at Angel, tears falling unheeded down her face.

"Baby, I'll always love you. Find us, find us!"

Angel lunged after them, trying to grab at her leg, but it was too late. As quickly as the vortex had opened up it had closed.

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

* * *

Buffy finished sharpening the edge on a large dagger before laying it next to several she had already finished. Sighing deeply, she picked up an ax head.

"Think you gotta enough there?" The young man smiled as he dropped down next to the blond woman.

"Maybe." She handed him the stone she'd been using along with the rest of the blades she'd been working on.

"Ah mom." He whined. "You gotta dozen sharpened so far; can't I finish the rest up tomorrow? The guys are waitin' for me to go into the village."

Buffy huffed in mock exasperation. "And just why do you need to go into the village? Again?"

"Again? It's been almost a week and it was to kill that Garvik demon. Please mom? Master Serylic caught a beast that's supposed to be like a horse with wings. A Pegasus mom, remember? Like that legend. You said dad loved that story." He pleaded. "When he comes for us I can tell him I actually saw one."

With a roll of her eyes Buffy shook her head. The boy always knew how to play her.

"Okay, go. But get home before dusk. Don't make me come and find you." She inwardly groaned at her words. Goddess, how she sounded like her mother.

"Great! Thanks mom. I won't be late." He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and jumped up, eager to meet up with his friends.

Buffy watched him sprint away and pondered the last 16 years. In some ways they seemed to just rush by. And in others the years had plodded along as she longed for her husband, her soul-mate.

The only thing, the only one who had pulled her through was Conner. Her whole existence had revolved around him. When they had been pulled through the vortex she had expected to see Angel to be right behind them. But the opening had shut as quickly as it had opened.

The words the Powers had said ran through her head. She had made her choice. Everyday she thought about her old life, of her Angel. But everyday she knew she had made the right choice, the only choice. Her soul-mate could survive without her, their son couldn't. Angel would've made the same decision. And Conner, her son she thought with more than a bit of pride and possessiveness, he was perfection. Even in his teenage imperfections. She couldn't imagine a single day without him. And it tore at her heart that his father would never be able to know the joys his son had given her.

Her musings took her back over those sixteen years. At the time she felt her life was over. But once her mother instincts kicked in, fully engulfed her, that's when she knew she would survive. And her son would be alright.

* * *

_Sixteen years earlier…_

Once through the portal, once Buffy had regained some sort of equilibrium, she took in the surroundings. Trees, grass, a small house in the distance and a little farther along, the roof tops of other dwellings.

"I was told you'd be coming sometime today." A woman rose from the blanket she had been sitting on. She had a warm smile and Buffy went to her.

"I have to get back through! I have to get back to my husband!" Her voice was frantic, her arms softly rocking her son.

"Oh dear girl, the nexus cannot be opened from this end. But a few come through and I'm sent to greet them." She reached out to relieve the small girl of her burden.

"Touch him and you die." The Slayer growled.

The older woman chuckled. "Sorry, should know better than to reach for a mother's bairn. Come, we've been told you'll be able to help us with our own demons and we can help with yours." She began her walk to the village expecting the young girl to follow.

"Are you comin' then?"

"He'll follow us. I know he'll follow us." Buffy voice was plaintive.

"Oh dearie, once it's closed it's not the easiest thing to get back open. I'm sure he'll come for you, just not in your time. Or his, I'm afraid."

"What do you mean?" She held Conner closer as her 4 month old began to squirm.

"The Powers, I'm afraid they set the time table. And when they're ready for you to go home, you will. And it won't be for a little while." She said sadly.

"Wait, what do you know? How do you know?" Buffy grabbed onto her arm.

"Dear girl, as I told you, I'm the greeter, I'm only told what they choose for me to impart. And I only welcome the ones they ask me to. In all the while I've been here, you're the third one I've met, although a few more have come through the portal. Come now, it won't be opening up any time soon, and when it does, I'll know." She wiped her hand on her dress and held it out to the slayer.

"I'm Geeta and I'll help you with all your needs."

Buffy shifted the now fully awake Conner and took the other woman's hand.

"I'm Buffy and this is Conner." She knew she should be more upset, but the truth was, this was along the lines of something she knew she should've expected.

"Welcome Buffy and Conner. Welcome to Cernunnos."

* * *

The first thing Buffy noticed as she walked though the village was all the crosses and talismans over all the doorways and windows.

"Vampires? Demons?" She asked.

Geeta smiled. "Vampires? They live among us, but do not bother us as such. They mostly keep to themselves, although more and more of the younger ones, humans and vampires, they seem to gravitate to one another." She smiled at the younger girl. "It's a good thing I think. But demons? Most assuredly."

Buffy showed her confusion.

"You live in peace with vampires? They aren't evil? Demons themselves?" She was incredulous.

"Oh no. But as I said, the older ones, they tend to stay in their villages. But we see more friendships between the youngsters." The older woman smiled at Buffy. "You have a different sort of vampire, I'm thinking."

"Yes. Very." She looked down at Conner. "But my son's father, he's a vampire. A vampire with a soul, a warrior for good."

"The same as you. Interesting. I would love to hear all about your world." Geeta continued to walk.

"This used to be a thriving village, but one day, oh about 60 years ago or so, dozens of portals opened. And out poured monsters by the yard. We were unprepared and most were killed. A few of us survived. Pockets of humanity, vampires are included in that." Geeta gave Buffy a small smile. "We've learned to fight, to defend ourselves. From my home world, I knew of potions, of spells, learnt from my mother, I've done my best." They arrived at a small store front, an herb shop. Geeta opened the door and ushered them in.

"You'll stay here for the time being. I have two bedrooms upstairs. A kitchen. A sitting room. Once you've settled, we'll find a place of your own."

"Geeta, this is really kind of you. Really, but I gotta get back to the vortex. I'm sure my husband, my friends, they'll be coming soon. You don't understand, Willow, she's a Wicca, a really talented…"

"Dear, I know how you are feeling. But until the Powers are ready for you to leave you won't. It doesn't matter what sorts of magics your friends have. Until the time is right you will be here."

Buffy looked around the small shop, pulling Conner closer, letting the tears fall heedlessly.

* * *

Geeta gave Buffy clean sheets and led her to the extra room. She also pulled out a wooden box she had stuffed with pillows and quilts for Conner.

While changing the linens, Geeta relayed her own story to the slayer.

"We were out for a stroll after dinner, before we knew it…" she handed Buffy a pillow and a pillow case, "a flash of light was before us, these bright shafts of light wrapped around my mother, Father grabbed for her, trying to pull her back, but it was too strong. I had hold of him, so all three of us got sucked into this place. I was twelve then, just a girl."

Buffy placed an exhausted Conner into his make-shift bed and followed Geeta into the kitchen. She handed the young girl a plate of food and gently pushed her into the small dining area.

"And where is here again?" Buffy asked as she lifted a forkful of food to her mouth.

"You're in Cernunnos." She smiled at Buffy. "The people here are good, but they do take awhile to warm up to strangers. "Once they see that you're here to help, well, they'll warm up a lot quicker."

The older woman left Buffy to mull over things and returned a bit later with clothes in her arms.

"Here you go. You won't be frowned upon as much if you wear these." Buffy took the garments.

"Geeta? You speak with the Powers? Can you take me to them?" Buffy begged.

"I don't really speak to them, when they want something from me they tell me what it is. I don't know how to get in touch with them. But when they want you, you'll know it."

"Yeah, I've sorta already learned that." Buffy stood. "Thank you for all your help, for coming to meet us."

"No worries dear girl. Even if the Powers hadn't warned me of your arrival I would've known and come out to greet you."

"How would you know?"

"The air, it changes. And we all know." She took the dishes to the sink. "I'll take care of these, you've had quite a day and I'm sure you need to digest it all. Have a good sleep dear…well, at least try. That little boy needs his mum strong and healthy."

"Yes, um, thanks." Buffy entered the small bedroom and looked down at her sleeping son.

"Oh Conner, your dad must be falling apart. But we'll be strong and we'll be ready for him. I know he'll come for us." She leaned over and kissed his forehead.

* * *

_Back in Sunnydale…_

The portal closed as quickly as it had opened up, taking with it Angel's reason for living. The vampire fell to his knees, unable to stop the deep growl that tore from his throat.

"Giles? What…" Angel frantically turned to the watcher, who himself was in shock at the quick turn of events. Willow ran to the place that had swallowed her best friend, quickly reciting a re-opening spell.

Nothing happened. She laid her hand on Angel's shoulder.

"It's gone Angel, all vestiges, all energy signatures. Gone." Her voice, laced with panic.

"Giles?" Both the husband and the friend turned to him.

He shook his head. "I don't know. We have to…Willow? You have to start a re-location spell. Now, before it's too late." He was up, pulling the young Wicca away from Angel.

"Giles, you don't understand, there's nothing here. Nothing. We can keep trying, but we need more help." There was desperation in her voice.

"I'm on the phone to the council. Keep at it, there may be something." He left the room.

Angel turned to Willow. "The Powers, they did this. She made the choice to be with Conner and they did this."

"I know Angel, I know. But we won't give up. I promise, we won't give up." She went upstairs to retrieve her bag of supplies while Angel held onto Conner's blanket, silently praying that his family was safe.

* * *

_Cernunnos…_

Buffy had quickly shown her worth to the small village with her slayer abilities. She didn't know what else to do. She had spent over a week at the portal, waiting, praying. But nothing happened, no vortex, no Angel, no miracle. So, she did what she knew best. She killed demons. And the village had shown their appreciation by quickly accepting her and Conner into the inner circle of their community.

She had requested the cottage that she had seen when she and her son had first fallen out of the portal. Buffy wanted to be close, just in case. When Angel came for them she wanted him to know she was waiting. And she knew he would come, she just didn't know when.

It had taken a good month for the cottage to be finished, so Geeta insisted she and her son stay right where they were and a close bond was formed. When they moved into their own house, Geeta had to fight the tears.

"Geeta, we're not even 10 minutes away. We'll be in town all the time, you'll have to watch Conner when I'm battling all the beasties. Okay?" She spoke softly to the older woman.

"I'm just bein' a foolish old woman. You never mind about me." She blew her nose and handed Buffy a cloth bag filled with an assortment of herbs. "Protection. Put them in all the corners of the house."

"Okay, but why don't you come over…"

"No, no. You and Conner get comfortable in your own space. There'll be time enough for visits."

"Okay, but soon. And we'll be by tomorrow." Buffy hugged the older woman and took her son to their new home.

* * *

Buffy life was spent raising her son and being a slayer. It really wasn't all that different than Sunnydale, except that the man she loved, her sister and her friends weren't there to share her life.

And coffee, she missed her vanilla lattes, she thought with a small smile.

Conner's bedtime stories revolved around his father. Buffy never tired of recounting stories of Angel. She also told him fairy tales and stories Angel had been fond of, at least what she could remember. But his favorite ones were always of his father and his family in a far off land called Home.

When she felt he was old enough, she explained exactly what she was, what his father was and the circumstances of his birth.

Because the vampires they knew were a different sort than the ones back home, it was easier for Conner to understand. A few of his playmates were vampire children and their families welcomed the slayer and her son into their homes and into their lives. It still boggled Buffy's mind that they lived lives not such a different than she did. They married, had children, worked in their village. They also bred a kind of boar that produced their blood supply. There were even a few inter-species relationships, how sophisticated, Buffy thought with a chuckle.

"So vampires back home are different? Is my dad different?" There was a trace of worry in Conner's small voice as she tucked him into bed one night.

Buffy took a deep breath.

"Well, your daddy is more like the ones you know here. At one time he was different…but he's a wonderful man, a good man. And he loves you so much."

Conner held his mom's hand, he was almost eight and was already showing signs of his own abilities as the child of a vampire and a slayer. Although he didn't share her biology, he was her son in so many ways.

"So he was evil?"

"Well, back home most vampires are sweetheart. And at one time so was your dad. But once he got his soul back, he did everything he could to make amends, Conner." She soothed his back as she spoke.

"And remember baby, Angelus was the demon, not your daddy. Angel wasn't the one who was evil, he wasn't even there."

He looked up at his mother, a thoughtful look on his face.

"So, you're not my real mommy?" His voice so soft.

Buffy smiled. "Oh baby, I'll always be your mommy. Maybe our DNA won't match, but Darla gave you to me. She put you in my belly and from that moment on, you were mine."

His face lightened and he sat back.

"Momma?"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"Do you think they're still looking for us? It's been a really long time." Conner turned to face his mother.

She took a deep breath and sighed.

"I do. I know they are baby." Buffy looked deeply into Conner's eyes.

"So, you really think I'll get to meet my father someday?" Buffy had to smile at the expression on her son's face, so much like her Angel.

"Yes I do." She pulled the coverlet under his chin and kissed him "I know it."

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

Remember, feedback is appreciated. Let's me know if I'm going in the right direction :D

* * *

Chapter 14

Willow ran her hand over her eyes and sighed.

"I can't do this. I thought I was capable, more than capable, but Giles…" Her frustration was tangible.

"Willow, please, you mustn't give up. We mustn't give up." Giles looked up the young woman. "Angel, Buffy, they're counting on us and we will find a way." He rose from the chair he had been sitting in and went to her.

"We're close Willow, so close. I know it." His voice bordered on desperation.

She looked up at the man she considered her mentor, more her watcher than he had ever been to Buffy. Willow had to smile at the thought. Buffy, the Slayer, she never needed Giles. But after spending so much time with Giles, Willow realized just how much she had come to depend on him.

"Yeah, you're right Giles. Let me just close my eyes for a few minutes and then I'll get going again."

"Yes, of course my dear, I suppose we all need a little rest." He removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Willow closed her eyes, not really expecting to sleep, but the days, weeks of little or no sleep won out and she fell into a deep, exhaustive slumber.

* * *

Xander smiled at his ex-girlfriend, she was still the prettiest thing he'd ever seen. Even during his crushing on Buffy, he still thought she was beautiful. When she'd shown up a over a month ago, "to lend moral support", everyone just assumed she was there to try and take Angel back to Los Angeles. But it was soon clear enough to all of them that she wasn't the same Cordelia they remember. She cared, not just for Angel, but for Buffy and Conner.

It was quite a surprise for all of them. The princess was still a princess, but now she was one who actually cared. So he knew he shouldn't be so surprised that she actually seemed to enjoy spending time with him at his apartment. She'd grown, as had he. And it was nice, really nice. But he knew he shouldn't read too much into it, they were just taking the occasional break from Revello Drive.

"What?" Cordelia looked up at Xander, a small smile playing at her lips. She found the new and improved Xander a welcomed distraction and now that his ex-demon girlfriend had left town she was enjoying his company more than she ever did in high school. At least until he betrayed her with Willow. Who it now seemed was single again, her ex involved with Spike. She chuckled to herself; she kinda did miss the drama of Sunnydale.

He shrugged. "I don't know, it's just weird seeing you again after all this time. I guess I never expected to see you in Sunnydale."

"Yeah, well I never expected to be back here. It was hard, losing Angel to her, but I guess she was never lost to him. Until now." The brunette shook her head, her light mood suddenly dissipating. "His wife and his son. It's just too much Xand, and it's just too unfair. They deserve…"

"Yeah hon, I know." He pulled her into an embrace. "I know."

Cordelia sighed and relaxed into Xander's arms. This was so weird, yet in that same weird way, felt so right. Should she be enjoying this when her best friend was dying a little each day that past and his family was still gone? Yes, she decided. After all, she thought, they were all working on finding them and one couldn't spend every waking moment on Revello Drive. Willow was there, as was Angel, Giles, Spike and Tara. Yeah, it was okay that she was here with Xander.

"What's going on in that head of yours Cordy?" Xander spoke softly into her ear.

She shivered. "Just wondering if I should be here feeling kinda nice when everyone else is back at Buffy's feeling really bad and working on getting them back."

"Yes, you should be here, we should be here. All we were doing was sitting around and waiting. We'll go back soon, but for just a few minutes let's pretend everything is okay and let's pretend that all's right with our world." Xander pulled slightly away to look into her eyes. "It's been great to be with you, spend this time with you. Getting to know you again. I didn't realize just how much I missed you." His voice was soft.

Cordelia bit her lower lip and nodded. "Yeah, I know how you feel. I hadn't really thought all that much about you these past years. I mean the hate, it dissipated before I left for L.A., but," he felt her shrug, "seeing you again, well, I guess I really missed you too."

Xander couldn't stop himself, before he realized it he had lowered his head and kissed her. Not with the school-boy desperation they both remembered, but with a passion that neither had ever felt before. Maybe it was brought on by shared pain for loved ones, or maybe it was a remnant of lost love, but the heat that shot through both of them made them pull away from each other and gasp.

"Okay, what was that?" Cordelia asked in a breathless whisper.

"Not sure, but I'd like to find out." Xander smiled down at her.

She chuckled. "Yeah? Me too. But maybe just not at this moment. Are you okay with that?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I am, but let's promise to figure this out after?"

"Promise." She reached up and pulled him down for one last kiss.

* * *

Tara sighed and snuggled deeper into Spike's arms.

"What is it pet?" Spike whispered.

"I feel so useless. It's been weeks Spike, almost two months and still nothing. It shouldn't be this hard. Willow, Giles, even me, we should be able to…"

"Baby, stop. I've told peaches and I'll tell you, once the powers decide on something there ain't a whole hell of a lot we can do 'til it's done." He smoothed her hair back and kissed her neck.

"It's so sad. I mean, here we are, together. And there's Angel, all alone. His wife and his son, gone. Goddess Spike, I don't know what I'd do if I lost you." She shivered and turned to face him.

"Well, you won't ever have to find out, I'll be with you forever."

"Promise?" She kissed him.

He chuckled. "Promise. Now, on your back woman. Need to remind you what love feels like."

Tara giggled. "Should I feel so happy?"

"Oh yeah, and I'm gonna make you feel even happier." He groaned as he slid between her thighs.

* * *

"Giles, this is getting old! We have to do something!" Angel paced back and forth in the living room. His attempts to reach the Powers had led nowhere and finding a way into the vortex that had swept his family away was almost as hopeless.

"Angel, come on. Giles and Willow are doing everything they can. We all want them back." Cordelia took his hand and led him to sit on the couch.

"It's been two months! Two months Cordelia. Who knows where they are? How they are? What sort of environment they ended up in…" He hung his head in his hands.

When they first started searching, Angel was certain he would be bringing Buffy and Conner back within a matter of hours, then days, then weeks. Then…nothing. He spent his frustration and anger killing every demon he could find when he wasn't trying to find a way to Buffy and Connor or taking care of Dawn.

"If the Powers don't want someone found, they don't get found." Spike spoke softly to his sire. "Told you that Angel. She's safe, so's the boy. They just won't let them back yet."

Angel looked up at Spike, seeing him as his childe for the first time in centuries.

"Yeah, I know, it's just…" Dawn had come into the room and sat next to Angel.

"Angel." Dawn laid her head on his shoulder. "It's Buffy. She's the slayer. She'll take care of Conner and she'll come back to us." The young girl blinked several times. "She has to."

Angel looked down at his sister-in-law before pulling her close to him.

"Of course she'll come back to us Dawn." He looked at Giles over the young girl's head. "She has to."

Willow entered the living room followed closely by Tara, holding papers and candles and a few other supplies.

"Okay, so I think we have it. With that text from Lorne and this new location spell," she looked between Angel and Giles, "I really think we have it."

Willow handed Angel a crystal.

"You need to keep this with you, it'll keep the energy focused on you. But remember once you get there, find her as fast as you can. I'll re-open the portal in 4 hours, if you don't come through I'll reopen it every hour after." She held his hand. "Angel, if you don't find her, come back and we'll keep trying."

He nodded, taking the gem and putting it in his pocket.

"Okay, let's get going."

"Wait!" Cordelia ran to Angel, handing him a hooded cloak. "You could end up in a place totally drenched in sunlight, then what will we do? I mean, think we can recognize you from ash? Put this on and be careful."

Xander shook his head. "Angel, let me do this. Or at least, let me come with you…"

"No Xander. I need you here. If this doesn't work, you have to keep looking."

"Yeah, okay. Just try and stay safe."

"That's the plan." Angel slipped the cloak on, covering his head and nodded to the watcher, eager to be on his way." Okay Willow, I'm ready."

* * *

Conner shifted his weight and lifted the sword over his head, deflecting Buffy's strike.

"C'mon Mom, you can do better than that." The boy laughed at his mother's expression.

"Hey, how about a little respect for the old lady?" She quipped with fake to the right, Buffy gave a round house kick, lifting her son off the ground and flat onto his behind.

"Sometimes you fight dirty Mom." Conner tossed his sword aside and rubbed his sore bottom as he got up.

"With demons clean or dirty doesn't matter as long as you bring them down. That's what I've always taught you so don't you dare get soft on me young man." She picked up his discarded sword and tossed it back to him, resuming her stance.

Although she was 20 years older than Conner, the years had been remarkably good to her. A fact she thanked the gods for daily. She had the curves of a woman, her hips a bit fuller after carrying Conner, but all her youthful softness had been replaced with firmness, her musculature evident in every movement. And her face, a bit more defined, a wisdom in her eyes that wasn't there before motherhood. But to look at her with Conner, no one would've ever guessed she was his 36 year old mother.

Her healing abilities had been accelerated in this dimension and Buffy assumed it helped keep her appearance younger than her years. And although she knew she didn't have the same face or disposition of her 20 year old countenance, ego aside, she knew she still looked pretty good. Buffy just hoped Angel showed up before everything sagged and her hair turned white.

"Concentrate Mom!" Conner yelled. He hated it when she got distracted. And it usually happened when she was thinking of his father.

"Should we just call it a day?" He dropped to the ground and looked up at his mother.

Buffy sighed and shrugged, flopping down next to him.

"I suppose it's a good idea. We've worked out enough for today." Buffy looked over at her boy. Boy? Almost a man, she thought to her self. Sixteen. She'd already been a slayer for two years by the time she was his age. And her son, although Conner didn't carry her genetics, he had her strength as well as his father's. He'd been fighting the demon population since he was 13 as well.

Conner had wanted to go out with her since he was ten, but she had refused. Buffy wanted him to have a childhood, she actually never wanted him to have to deal with demon slaying at all, but in this world there seemed to be no way around it.

Buffy and Conner had become the salvation of several small villages but Buffy had insisted they train the young men and woman to fight as well.

"We won't be here forever Conner, they have to learn to defend themselves and their families." So weekly training classes had begun a few years earlier.

Buffy knew there was a reason behind all of this. The Powers had their plan. But it didn't stop the anger and resentment she carried with her. Her boy had been raised without the benefit of his father. And Angel, her Angel. He'd been deprived of all those glorious years of watching their baby grow into a wonderful young man. Something she would never be able to give back to him.

Every joy she felt at Conner's accomplishments was always tempered by the knowledge that his father wasn't there to share in it.

She shook her head and looked over at Conner, who was giving her that knowing look. The one that was so Angel.

"What?"

"Stop it Mom. It's not your fault Dad's not here."

Buffy chuckled as she raised one brow. "So, now you're a mind reader?"

"No, I'm just a slayer reader. And face it, you just can't hide anything from me." Conner chuckled.

"Yes, well, I suppose that's the price we pay for being the Chosen Ones." She jumped up intending to head back to the cottage to prepare dinner.

She hesitated and looked over at her son, who had now risen to stand beside her.

"You feel it?" She asked, knowing the answer.

"Yeah, it's gonna open." Conner put his arm around Buffy's shoulder, his stance indicating his protectiveness.

The air crackled with electricity as the two of them waited for the vortex to open. Buffy reached for the tarp their weapons were laying on. The glen was surrounded with trees and dusk was approaching, but there was still areas dappled with sunlight and Buffy wanted to be prepared. Just in case, she thought.

"It might not be him mom. You know that." The portal had opened a few times since their arrival, but Angel had not come through. And each time Conner felt his mother's heart break just a little.

"I know sweetheart, but it doesn't hurt to be prepared." She smiled up at him.

The sound and the light were intense, forcing them to shield their eyes.

As soon as it began it was over, and sprawled on the grass was a tall stranger, dressed in black from head to toe, a hood covering his head.

Buffy bit her bottom lip as she approached the form, reaching over she lifted the hood. She sobbed and threw the tarp over him. Although the vampires in this dimension weren't affected by the sun, she had no idea how Angel would react to it and she wasn't taking any chances.

"Conner! Help me drag him to the shade." She was frantically trying to move him.

"Is it him?" He croaked.

"Yes, now get over here and help me!" She yelled.

Shaking off his shock, Conner ran to his mother's side and lifted his father, laying him gently in the shadiest spot he could find.

"Are you sure? He asked solemnly.

Buffy pulled the tarp off her husband, gently laying her hand on his cheek.

"Yes baby. It's him. It's your father." She barely held her emotions in check as she tore her eyes away from Angel to look up at her son.

"He's finally here."

* * *


	15. Chapter 15

Finally an update, sorry it's taken so long. Any feedback is most apprciated!

At last, Conner meets his father!

* * *

Conner bit at his bottom lip as he looked at the man so many of his earliest memories consisted of. Man, vampire, hero. Father.

He was big, that's the first thing Conner noticed. Big. Bigger than life. Younger too, he looked to be about the same age as his mother, but because he knew his father's true age, Conner always thought he'd look more mature. His skin, so pale. Well, yeah, of course, he chastised himself, he's a vampire. A vampire with a soul.

He shifted, worry clouding his brow. What will he think of me? Will he blame me for taking my mother from him, he worried?

Buffy looked up from Angle and smiled.

"Come here baby." Conner slowly came close. His father hadn't stirred.

"Conner, don't fret. He's going to love you. He does love you. I promise." She held her hand out to him.

"What's wrong with him? How come he's still out? You said we came through wide awake." He took his mother's hand.

She shrugged, biting her lower lip with uncertainty. "Don't know. Maybe because he's a vampire."

Angel heard voices, they were far away, but he heard them. And one of them was hers. His Buffy. He struggled, pushing through the fog.

He groaned. "Buffy?" His voice was hoarse.

"Angel? Baby?" She could hardly speak through the tears she was fighting to control.

He opened his eyes and looked up into her face.

"Oh my god, Buffy. Baby. Are you alright? Is Conner alright?" He lifted himself up and shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts.

"Where's the baby?" He asked.

"Baby?" Buffy swallowed. "Angel? Oh my god, Angel, how long has it been? How long have we been gone?"

* * *

Angel felt the anguish in her voice and looked, really looked at his wife. She was as beautiful as ever. But there was something…something. Her face was leaner. Her voice, richer. She looked like…yes, he thought, she looked like a woman.

He looked over at the boy, the young man really, standing just behind Buffy.

"Angel?" Her voice shook him out of his reverie. "How long have you been looking for us?" Her voice was pained, drawing his attention back to her.

"Eight weeks. Two months, two agonizing months. Willow and Giles used every resource to try to find the right portal." He looked up at the boy again. So familiar, he thought.

"Why Buffy? Why…" Reality chasing the remaining fog from his mind. "How long have you been here?" Angel asked in a low voice.

"Oh Angel. It's been awhile. A long while." She held her hand out to her son, who came to her.

"We've been waiting 16 years."

Angel felt as if his legs had been kicked out from under him. Sixteen years. His baby was almost a man.

Sixteen years. His sweet young girl was a woman. She'd reached full adulthood without him.

"I'm so sorry. I thought, maybe, time might be altered, but…" He paused. "I just didn't allow myself to dwell on it." Angel looked up at Conner, up at his son.

"I let you down. You and your mother, I…" His voice was filled with the anguish he was feeling.

Conner looked at his mom for guidance, but when he saw her pain, he went to his father.

"No please, Angel…Dad," he wasn't sure he should call him that yet and hesitated for a reaction, "stop. I wasn't alone. I had mom. We had each other. She knew, she always knew you'd come for us." He hesitated. "Actually eight weeks is probably some sort of record for opening a portal to a specific dimension."

He turned to his mother. "Don't you think?"

Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she smiled at her sweet son. "I do. Most definitely." Buffy turned back to her husband. "I…Angel…I don't know what to…are you alright? It everyone at home alright?"

She always knew this time would come, she thought she was prepared for it. But as she sat next to Angel, as she looked up at her son, she felt totally unprepared. Sixteen years, this had been home to her and Conner for sixteen years. They spoke daily of Angel, of Giles, of family, of home. Of duty, of responsibilities. But she also made sure that her son had a childhood. One filled with love and fun, she inwardly smiled when she thought of what her son considered fun in this dimension. She had tried so hard to make up for Angel's absence. But now, with leaving so close at hand, she was beginning to panic.

Sixteen years, she shook her head again. It had only been two months for her family back home, but for her and Conner so much time had past. Would they even know her? Would they realize she wasn't the girl who had left all those years ago?

Buffy swallowed and took her husbands hand.

"So, guess it's time to pack our bags, huh?"

"Willow's supposed to reopen the portal in 4 hours." He looked at his watch and shrugged. "Which I guess doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot. I really have no idea how long that will be in this place."

Buffy looked to her son, a brow arched. "Conner?"

He wrinkled his brow. "Okay, well, if 8 weeks is 16 years, then two years is one week, " he paused, "so, about 3 ½ days would be a year, right?"

Angel just shook his head, marveling in his son's voice. "No idea."

"Yeah, so then maybe like," he twisted his mouth and squinted as if her were seeing something very far away, "an hour would be something like 17 days, give or take a few hours."

"So, seems we'll be here a couple of months." Buffy stated quietly. She stood up and held her hand out to Angel. "Come on, the sun's setting. We can make it to the house safely."

She waited nervously. It had been a long time since she'd seen her husband. She'd thought of him everyday, dreamt of him every night. But with the reality of him really being here came a bit of insecurity. A bit of fear. She wasn't the same girl who had been pulled through that vortex all those years ago and she was afraid he might not be able to accept her as the woman, the mother, she had become. Buffy searched his eyes for that familiar emotion, love. A sigh of relief escaped her chest as she saw it, it was mixed with confusion, with disorientation, but she could still recognize the love.

Angel looked deeply into her eyes as he took her hand. What he saw surprised him. His Buffy was a mature, self- assured woman. His non-existent heart ached at the thought of all he missed. He saw so many emotions cross her face, then he saw it, the one he feared may have been lost, forgotten in all the years that had passed for her. There was a sigh that passed her lips, then there it was, the love.

Conner stepped back but he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from his parents. For the first time since he could remember, his deepest wish was to meet his father. But now that he was finally here, a cold fear gripped his heart.

The look on his mother's face was usually reserved for him. Love, her love, all of it had been lavished on him and now here was his father. Here was Angel. And he could see just how much love she had for him. Not that he ever doubted it, he loved this man as well, this vampire, with all his heart, this was his father after all. Although they'd never met, his mother made sure he knew who, what his father was. And through her, he had learned to love him. But the reality of Angel was much different than the fable. There was always the idea that he might not ever come. That he might be able to live his life here, not some faraway place that represented his destiny.

But it was here, the future was now. And he could see the feelings that coursed between his mother and father. The emotion, the love. Even to his eyes it was clear, he could could almost touch it.

Would there be enough love left for him? A childish thought, even his 16 year old mind knew this, yet the fear, the uncertainty was there.

Angel was the first one to break the silence.

"Well, it looks like we'll have some time to get to know one another." The vampire looked up at his son with expectation. With hope. With love.

Conner swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah, looks like." He turned to his mother. "Um, mom? The vampires here are fine in the sun, maybe Angel, um, Dad will be too." Conner suggested.

"Maybe, we'll see how it goes tomorrow." She smiled at her son before turning back to her husband.

"Come on Angel, come see our home."

* * *

Angel stopped at the threshold of the cottage that his wife and son had been calling home for almost two decades.

For some reason he couldn't bring himself to cross over it. He felt like an intruder, an interloper into the life his wife and son had shared. Had live. Without him.

"Angel?" Buffy looked at him in confusion. Suddenly it dawned on her just how her husband must feel. She motioned over at Conner with a small smile.

"Sweetheart?"

"Yeah mom?" Conner went to her.

"Could you do me a huge favor and run over to Maskrov and buy a pint for your father?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." He turned to Angel. "You'll probably be hungry soon. Shouldn't take more than an hour or so." Conner kissed his mother's cheek, nodded to Angel and turned towards the village.

"Conner? Maskrov's the other way." Buffy chided.

"I know, I just thought the guys might wanna go." He shrugged. "Is that okay?"

"Yes, of course. Sorry sweetheart. Be careful, it'll be dark soon, take a weapon." Buffy waved him off and turned to Angel.

"Come on in, you don't need an invitation here, but you know your welcome." She entered her small house expecting Angel to follow, but still he held back.

"Angel?" He heard the confusion in her voice but couldn't move.

"Buffy…god Buffy. I'm so sorry. Baby, I'm so sorry." He dropped to his knees in front of her and wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his head in her stomach.

Biting her lip to keep from crying, Buffy ran her hand through his hair.

"Baby, Angel, you have nothing to be sorry for. I made the decision to be with our son. The only regret I'll ever have was that you weren't with us…"

"Gods Buffy, I'm not just talking about this, about robbing you of 16 years. I mean all of it. Coming back into your life, Darla, the transference…"

Buffy gasped as she pushed back from him, her expression filled with hurt and anger.

"Don't you dare say it! Don't you think it! Damnit Angel, my time with you, carrying Conner, giving birth to him…raising him…god Angel, how could you think I'd trade that for..for...an empty life without you?" He could see her body shaking with emotion.

"Baby, please, don't…I'm saying this all wrong. It's just that you had to sacrifice so much…"

"And you didn't? You missed so much Angel. You missed your only son's childhood." Her voice softened as she reached for him again.

"Let's start over again, okay?" She took his hand.

"Buffy?" Angel stood up and waited for you to continue.

"Angel, please come in." He nodded and let her lead him in to her home.

Angel scanned the cottage that had housed his family for the past 16 years. The main room held a stone fireplace, various pots and pans stood off to the side on a set of wooded shelves. To the left was what he thought must be the living room, no television he thought with a smile. A soft sofa of sorts and a couple of smaller chairs. Book shelves and a desk took up a corner that was bathed in the fading sunlight.

Home, it looked like home to the vampire. A home that was filled with warmth, love, light. He fought the tears that threatened to spill at the feeling of loss.

He turned to her. "I missed you." His voice was rough with emotion.

Buffy swallowed and turned to face him. "I missed you too." She pulled him closer, taking his other hand.

"Oh Angel, I missed you so much." The last word caught in a sob. Angel pulled her into his arms, crushing her to him.

"Oh baby, sixteen years, I…I couldn't have made it. Two months were bad enough, but 16 years…"

She placed her hand over his lips.

"Shhh, yes, you would've made it. You would've made it for Conner. He's the only thing that kept me going Angel. Your son, our son. I had to be strong for him." She placed a soft kiss where her hand had been.

"And Angel, he's so wonderful. So smart and clever. He's an artist, like you. Just wait until you get to know him." Her voice was animated with love and pride.

"He's almost a man Buffy. Will he even want to know me? You've been all he's ever known, is he going to just think of me as an intruder?" His face was angst ridden.

Buffy had to struggle to keep from chuckling.

"I hadn't seen that face since before we got back together." She took his hand. "The two of you are so much alike it's almost scary." Buffy ran her hand against his cheek.

"Do you know what our son is thinking right now?" She asked him.

Angel shook his head as he gently took her hand from his face and kissed it.

"No clue." He smiled as he heard her intake of breath.

"Well, he's thinking the exact things you are. Will you accept him? Will you consider him an intruder, resent him for being with me when you couldn't?" she looked into his eyes.

"Angel, he's waited his whole life to meet you and now he's afraid you'll be disappointed, he's afraid you won't accept him." She gave him a small smile.

"Hey, when did you suddenly become so wise?" Angel pulled her close again, kissing her forehead.

"Suddenly? Angel, try 16 years of raising a child. I would hope I'd matured a bit and gained maybe just little bit of wisdom." She inhaled deeply, relishing his scent. The smell of Angel, so distinct. There were moments that she thought she would never experience the smell of him again. Before she realized it, sobs were wracking her body.

"Buffy?" Angel pulled back to see his warrior woman breaking down. "Baby, please, talk to me…"

"Oh my god Angel," she gasped between sobs, "are you really here? I just can't believe you're really here…I thought I might never see you again."

He pulled her in again, smoothing back her hair, taking in all things Buffy.

"Sweetheart, I'm here now and I promise, no matter what I have to do, we will never be separated again."

* * *


	16. Chapter 16

Sorry it's taken so long for an update, I will never again upload a story that isn't complete - I have one more, but once that's finished...

Anyway, hope you enjoy! And remember, feedback is love ;). Now, onto the story...

* * *

"So, do you think he's found her?" Xander opened up another box of pizza and put several pieces on the platter Cordelia had pulled from the cupboard.

She shrugged. "Who knows, we'll just have to wait and see." Cordelia looked up at the clock. "Three hours to go and we'll know."

"Yeah, three hours. Do you think we gave him enough time? I mean, four hours isn't a long time to search for…" He paused in his task, looking deeply at his ex-girlfriend.

Cordelia smiled and took the slice from his hand. "If he doesn't find them this time, he will the next time. The powers let us open the portal so I have a feeling Angel won't be coming back empty handed." She leaned over and kissed his cheek.

Xander smiled. "What was that for?"

She arched her brow. "Just 'cause. You had such a sweet look on your face I couldn't resist."

"Okay, gonna have to try and duplicate that look. A lot." He smirked despite his blush.

"Hey, are you wankers gonna get that food out here anytime today? Nibblet's gonna start chewin' on her arm soon." Spike entered the kitchen, grabbed two boxes and headed back to the living room.

"Wait, we were putting it on platters…"

"No need princess, just gonna be ate anyway." Spike shrugged.

* * *

Willow sighed as she put away the load of towels she had just finished folding. She was nervous and couldn't just sit around waiting with the others; watching a movie or watching each other. Just killing time waiting for Angel to return, for Buffy and the baby to come back to them. So she cleaned the bathrooms and did laundry. She needed a purpose and housework filled the bill.

Giles came up behind her and held the basket up for her to easily reach the contents.

"Thanks Giles." She smiled up at him. "You always seem to be just where I need you."

Giles shrugged. "I suppose I am. And of course we all know how important it is to put away newly laundered towels."

"Oh Giles," Willow held a towel close to her chest and looked up at him, "will Angel find her? It's been over two months, what if…"

The watcher put down the basket and took the towel from her hands, laying it down as well before pulling her into a comforting embrace.

"Willow, Angel will succeed. There's a purpose for all of this, I'm sure of it. We will see Buffy again. The powers can be indifferent, of this I am sure, but Buffy and Angel would not have been brought together again to only be torn apart. The powers have a plan and it includes the three of them, I'm sure of it. They will have their life together with Connor and with Dawn."

Willow nodded into his chest and allowed herself to relax into his arms. She had spent so much time with him during the past few months she was only really comfortable when he was near. She was almost sure she was falling in love with him, but she also knew Giles would never accept her as anything other than a student. But Willow would be patient, she would wait, and maybe, just maybe, she could become as important to him as he was to her.

"Thanks Giles. I didn't mean to fall apart, I know you're right. Angel and Buffy are destined to be together." She pulled away from Giles and bent down to retrieve the rest of the laundry.

"Yes my dear, I'm sure destiny will be fulfilled." He hesitated before turning to head back downstairs. "I'll set aside a piece of cheese pizza for you, shall I? Hurry down."

She nodded again without looking up. "For sure, I'll be right down."

* * *

Angel walked next to his son on their way back from Maskrov. He had been taken to Cernunnos by his family and introduced to Geeta and all their friends not long after he first arrived, but Buffy had felt it important for Angel and Connor to have some time alone together, so she sent them off to meet the vampires of the world. It had been quite an experience for him. It was also odd, that even from a different dimension, the vampires here recognized him as the master vampire he was and treated him with the respect it demanded. Angel tried to reassure them that it meant nothing to him, but he had to admit, it felt good.

Connor had taken him to several homes and Angel was introduced to the leaders of the vampire community, many were already acquainted with his and Buffy's story. And the master vampire took it all in with a bit of awe. Families, what a concept for a vampire. To live in sunlight, to work side by side with humans, to conceive children, to live long lives in relative peace. He was still reeling from the life they were allowed to lead.

He'd been with Buffy and Connor for just over two weeks and this was the first time he'd been alone with his son and Angel had to admit to his nervousness.

"So, what did you think?" Connor asked, but continued to speak before his father had a chance to answer. "The vampires here, they're kinda like you. They have souls, at least I think they do. I mean, they aren't evil, well, Sol Vespar, he's sort of an asshole…but probably not evil," referring to a classmate, Connor looked over at his father, eyes wide, "sorry.'

Angel chuckled. "Don't worry, I've known a few assholes in my day. Go on."

Connor shrugged. "Well, like you saw, they have families, they fight demons, protect their own, like us. Mom told me about vampires from our world, they're not like my friends here."

"You have vampire friends?" Angel tried to keep the surprise from his voice.

"Well, yeah, we all go to the same school, well there's only the one school for the four villages in this county, so..." The boy shrugged and walked on, totally unaware of the pain and sadness that crossed his father's face.

"That's great Connor. I'm glad you've had such a good life here. I'm so sorry, I know it'll be hard for you to leave." He paused, not really knowing what else to say.

Connor turned to his father. "I always knew we'd be going home. I'll miss my friends for sure. But I always knew we'd be leaving. I knew you'd come for us, take us home. Mom said we had a purpose, there was a reason and once you got here we'd see the purpose for all of this." He smiled. "Don't feel bad, I've been ready for you my whole life." He smiled at his father, his first real smile and it struck the vampire in his non-existent heart.

"Mom told me you'd be like this. Actually, she says I do the same thing, only not as much and not for as long."

Angel gave him a quizzical look. "What thing?"

"The whole brooding, angsty thing. But mom said she missed it." The boy shrugged again, it was a habit of his Angel was coming to recognize. "Come on, Mom'll be upset if we're home too late for dinner. She's a stickler about that."

"Since when?" Angel had to laugh.

Connor laughed as well. "Since here, I guess."

* * *

"Okay, so no hanging out with your friends until you finish up in Geeta's garden. Deal? And spend some quality time with her, she's going to really miss you once we're gone."

Plans had been made for Connor to spend some time with his friends and Geeta, so after dinner he dashed to his room, nodding at his mother's concerns.

"He sure is anxious to be away from us." Buffy huffed as she turned to her husband.

Angel chucked and pulled her into an embrace.

"Baby, he'll probably never see his friends again and you've told me how close he is to Geeta. How could you begrudge him this time?"

She smiled guiltily. "I know, I'm an awful, clinging mother. I just…we're so close to leaving, I'm getting really nervous, you know? What if something happens?"

"Yes sweet, I know. But nothing's going to happen, he's been safe here for 16 years and he'll remain so for a few more weeks, I'm sure." He kissed his wife's brow.

Buffy added a few extra items in Connor's pack and fussed over him before he left.

"Mom, I'm only going for a couple of days and I'm only ten minutes away if I need something. Stop fussing." He rolled his eyes at his father, who in turn had to stifle a chuckle. He went to his wife and gently pulled her from their son.

"Buffy, let the boy go. He's not going very far." He waved his son out of the cottage. "See you in a few days."

Connor nodded. "Yeah, in a few." He leaned over and kissed his mother's cheek. "Don't come into town, I need to spend some time with Geeta and my friends. Well, unless there's some demon emergency."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure she stays put." Angel assured him as he sat his wife down and followed his son out the front door.

"You know, she really isn't like this. But since she knows we're going back so soon, she's been all…all, you know, motherly."

"She's nervous son, a little bit scared. We both are. We don't know what's in store once we get back and the unknown breeds insecurity." He laid a hand on Connor's back. "She just wants you safe."

Connor nodded. "I guess, but this is something she's been preparing me for my whole life."

"I'm sure she has, but the reality is about to hit her in the face and, well you know how your mother likes to be in control."

"Yeah, tell me about it." He laughed. "So, okay, I'll see you guys in a few days."

"Right, bye Connor." Angel shifted.

"Bye…Dad." He smiled and left.

Angel watched him until he disappeared around the bend in the road. "Bye son."

* * *


	17. Chapter 17

I'm taking you back and forth from Buffy and Angel to the gang back home. Let me know if it's confusing and I'll try to sort it out better. Hope your enjoying it!

Warning: Some major Buffy/ Angel action and some major fluffage ahead...sorry, I love the fluff...

* * *

Angel pulled the sleep shirt Buffy had given him over his head before folding his clothes. He looked up and his breath caught in his throat as his wife entered the room. His awe at her beauty, her strength, hit him like a punch in his gut.

"Hey, how was your day out with Connor?" She opened a drawer to retrieve her nightgown.

Angel's hands tightened into fists as he fought the urge to take her into his arms.

_His first night in her house, Buffy informed him he'd be sleeping in her room, which had confused him. Of course, he thought, where else would I be sleeping?_

_That night, once they were in bed together, he pulled her into his arms and she came willingly, cuddling deeply with a small sigh. When he began to kiss her and lifted the edge of her nightgown to remove it, she pulled back._

"_Angel, please, wait." He voice held a touch of panic._

"_Baby, what's wrong?" He'd been without her for two months and he was burning for her._

"_You need to be a little patient with me. It's been a long time Angel; I've been alone for 16 years. I need a little time to adjust." She bit her lip as she saw the hurt in his eyes._

"_Angel, please. I love you, I always have and I always will, but I need to get to know you again."_

"_It's been 2 months Buffy, I haven't changed." He sighed._

"_It's been longer for me and I have. I'm not the same girl Angel. Please be patient and just hold me?" She begged._

_Angel suddenly realized what she must be feeling and felt like an insensitive school boy._

"_Oh baby, I'm sorry. Of course we'll take it slow. We have all the time in the world." He pulled her back into his arms and kissed the top of her head._

That had been over two weeks ago and Angel was chastising his almost constant physical reaction to his wife. What was wrong with him?

"Angel? Earth to Angel, did you hear me?" She stood in front of him, her hands on her hips.

"Oh, yeah. My day with Connor." He smiled, glad to be distracted from his thoughts. "He's great Buffy. How did I end up with such a sweet kid?"

"Umm, no TV or computers? And the harshest form of peer pressure he has to deal with is whether to go skinny dipping in the lake with the girls. For which, I'll have you know, he was grounded for two weeks." She laughed.

"Buffy? I…you've been such a great mother. I…should we really take him from here? He's so happy, so healthy, so grounded."

She stopped mid way from pulling her shirt off and looked at her husband.

"What do you propose Angel? We stay here? Leave Sunnydale, all our friends at the mercy of the Hellmouth?" She removed her shirt and reached for her gown. Angel grabbed her wrist and pulled her to stand between his legs.

"We've both fought the good fight Buffy. Would it be so wrong to stay here with our son? This place, it's different than our world, it's his world."

Buffy reached over to run her fingers through his hair.

"I could think of nothing I'd rather do than to spend the rest of my life with you and Connor here, in the sun. But Angel, get real. Do you honestly think the powers would let that happen?"

Angel pulled her closer and buried his face in her warmth.

"He's so happy Buffy…"

"Oh sweetheart, I know that. But he'll be happy wherever we are, he's basically a really happy, positive kid." She kissed the top of his head and tried pulled away to finish getting ready for bed. Angel pulled her back, his tongue reaching out to run across her collar bone.

"Angel…" Buffy was suddenly breathless. "I don't know…" She moaned as his mouth ventured lower to suckle at her breast before gently biting her nipple. "Oh god Angel."

"Baby, please, I need you." He lay back on the bed, bring her with him. "Buffy, let me make love to you."

Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the passion in his eyes and felt his hardness press against her.

"Angel…it's been so long, what if…I don't want to disappoint you…" He quickly silenced her with a deep kiss.

"You are perfection baby." He ran his hands down her waist to cup her back side, marveling in the feel of her skin. "I've missed you so much. We'll take it slow, I promise."

Buffy looked into his eyes again and nodded, mesmerized by his raw passion. "Yes, slow…" She let the languid feelings brought on by her husband's lips and hands take her away.

* * *

"Angel, Angel, yes, yes!" Buffy screamed out her last orgasm before falling on his chest. "Goddess, how I missed you." She whispered.

"Oh baby, and how I missed you. I'm just glad Connor's gone. Once he's back we've gotta control the volume." He laughed.

"Umm, yeah." She agreed sleepily.

Angel rolled them over so she was lying by his side, cradled in his arms. "You are so beautiful. You were before you left, but now, god Buffy, you're glorious." He kissed her swollen lips.

She chuckled. "You're just saying that because I agreed to have sex with you. Lots and lots of sex."

"Well, that's certainly a good thing, but," he leaned up on one elbow to study her face in the early morning light, "you've become something phenomenal. I must be the luckiest man, vampire or human, that ever lived. I've got you and I've got Connor. I don't think my life could ever get better." He leaned over and kissed her hungrily.

"Oh baby, you've got to be kidding. I know it's been over 2 months for you, but we've been at it for hours, the sun's coming up. Let me rest for a little bit. Please." Her voice was hoarse and so sexy to Angel.

He sighed. "Hey I thought slayer and vampire stamina were pretty constant?"

"Yeah, we are, but give me a break, it's been 16 years. I'm gonna have to build up my sexual stamina again."

"Okay, a break then. But after you've rested, we are so making up for lost time. Deal?"

"Deal." She promised with a smile.

* * *

_1 hour before Angel's return:_

Tara finished drying off and wrapped her bath towel around her before leaving the shower. She rolled her eyes as she entered the bedroom and saw that Spike was back in bed.

"I thought you'd be dressed by now." She went to the closet and pulled out a sweater and a pair of jeans. "We should've been over to Buffy's a half hour ago."

"Oh baby, Angel won't be back for another hour, we have time." He cocked an eyebrow at her as he patted the bed in invitation.

"You are incorrigible. We were just supposed to come back here for a few herbs for Willow." She tried to keep her voice firm, but as always ended up with laughter in her tone. She shook her head at the realization of just how much she loved this man.

"Well yeah, but you have to admit it took your mind off the problems at hand. It was worth it, wasn't' it?" He smiled.

Tara went to him and ran a hand down his chest. "It's always worth it." She reached down and tossed him a pair of black jeans and a tee shirt. "Please? Let's get dressed?"

"Okay princess, since you asked so nicely and let me make love you, I'll get dressed." Spike rose from the bed and Tara felt her breath catch in her chest. It still amazed her just how beautiful her lover was.

Spike looked up at her and smiled again. "I feel the same way love."

* * *

Buffy looked over at her friend, her confidant, for the past 16 years, with a confused look on her face.

"Geeta, what? Do I have something on my face?" Buffy questioned her as she wiped a hand over her cheek.

The older woman chortled. "Oh dearie, I'm just so happy for you. Have you told your husband?"

Buffy still held a confused look. "Geeta, I have no idea what you are talking about. I'm glad you're happy about Angel and me finally…well, finally making love, but it's really not such a big deal. And it has been a few weeks." The slayer pulled out the candles she had been dipping and hung them, making sure the pan was positioned carefully.

"Buffy? You don't know, do you?" Geeta asked, finally understanding the younger woman's confusion.

"What? Geeta, just spit it out." Buffy was becoming impatient.

"As a vampire in this dimension, Angel is subject to the changes in his physiology. You do realize this, yes?"

"Yes, of course. That's why it'll be so hard on him when we go home. He loves being in the daylight." She wiped a hand over her brow. "And it's almost time for us to leave." Her voice held a bit of sadness.

"Buffy, my dear, it's not just the environs. His biology is adapted as well, for as long as he is here I am assuming."

Buffy nodded, only half listening, her mind on her family and what returning to Sunnydale really meant to them.

Geeta reached out to still the slayer's hands. "Buffy, listen to me my dear."

She took a deep breath and looked at her friend. "Sorry, okay, I've stopped."

The older woman chuckled lightly. "Buffy, when was your last cycle?"

"My last…oh. Umm, let me think…" She went over the past month, nothing. So she focused, rethinking the past weeks since Angel had arrived. "Well, it was before Angel got here, about a week or so before…" Buffy stopped mid sentence, realizing what Geeta was getting at.

"Oh my god, Geeta! Do you think I'm…?" Buffy couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"Yes my dear. I've seen the change in your aura. I was just waiting for you to tell me, now I see why you didn't. You're with child my dear. You're carrying your husband's issue." The older woman had to laugh at the look on Buffy's face.

* * *

Buffy brushed her hair, debating if she should tell Angel now or wait until they were back home. Taking a deep breath she decided the band-aid approach would be best.

Angel looked up at his wife as she fussed in front of her dressing table and sighed. He'd never get tired of looking at her. Or making love to her. He smiled.

"Baby? Come to bed, I'm feeling a bit ignored." He teased.

She turned to face him, a small smile playing at her lips as she rose to take his hand. He pulled her down, next to him and pulled the string at her neck that held her shirt in place.

Buffy giggled. "Sometimes I think you only want me for my body."

"Well, not only." He smiled into her neck as he ran his tongue over his mark.

"Angel?" She pulled slightly away to look at him. "We need to talk."

"Okay. Is something wrong?" He asked, a worried look crossing his features.

"Well, not wrong, not really." She took a deep breath and continued. "So, you know how you can go in the sun, and do all that stuff you can't do at home?"

He nodded.

"It would appear you have taken on all the attributes of the vampires here." Buffy bite her bottom lip and looked deeply into his eyes.

"Okay," he answered slowly, "and you're telling me this because…"

She raised her shoulders and dropped them. "Well, it would seem I'm pregnant. Who 'da thunk it? I mean, not me that's for sure. Not that I had any birth control, and not that I'd actually use it. But, wow, huh? Looks like Connor's gonna have a brother or sister."

Angel blinked several times in rapid succession and shook his head. "Really? Really?"

"Yeah, really. Angel? How do you feel about this? I mean, well, I know you just found out…" He didn't let her finish her sentence as he pulled her into his arms and took her lips in a deep, soft kiss. That kiss telling Buffy everything she needed to know.

She broke away to look up into his eyes, to see the love, the awe, the happiness.

"Oh, Angel," she laughed through her own tears, "you're okay with this?"

"Sweetheart, how could you even ask? Everyday here, I realize just what a lucky man I am. I have you and Connor and now…oh my god baby, how could you even ask?" He smoother her hair away from her face and pulled her to him, kissing her again.

He rolled her under him and pulled her shirt from her body, placing his hand on her flat stomach, the wonder shining in his face. Looking back up at him, Buffy laughed at the pure joy in his face.

"This is one of the happiest days of my life, alive or dead." Angel kissed her again and proceeded to show her just how much he did, indeed, love her.

Much later Buffy cuddled in his arms. "We have to handle this very delicately with Connor. I never want him to think that he's not ours. That this baby is any different than him in our eyes. He has to know how much he's love and how much he means to us."

"Of course baby. How could he ever think otherwise? You carried him in your belly, you nourished him, you raised him. He'll never doubt your love. And I'll show him just what he means to me. Do you think we should wait to tell him until we get back?

"No, I don't want him to think we kept this a secret from him. We tell him tomorrow."

"Agreed, tomorrow." Angel kissed her forehead and pulled her closer into his embrace.

0000000000000000000000000000000

Connor fidgeted. He wasn't stupid, he realized just how close his mother and father had become again, he just didn't want to have to know all the intricacies of it. Sex, they had sex. And this was living proof of it. But this was his parents after all, and he just wanted to leave.

"Okay, so you're pregnant. I'm gonna have a brother or sister. Umm, are you okay with it?" He ran his hand over the back of his neck, wishing he were anywhere but here.

"Well, yes, of course we are. Actually, it's just as much of a miracle as your own conception." Buffy looked expectantly at her son.

"Okay." He repeated. "Well, congratulations? I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say. I mean, he or she, it's my family, so I don't know if I'm supposed to…well, umm, great. This is good news, right? I mean," he looked at his father, "you'll be able to raise this one from diapers on up." Connor looked from his mother to his father. He was feeling very uncomfortable and was unsure what to do next.

"Connor, this child will never be a replacement, that's not what this is about. We didn't even take into consideration that we could have another child. At home we certainly couldn't. This just happened…"

"Dad, that's not what I meant…" Connor glanced over at his mother.

"We know sweetie, don't worry." Buffy chuckled as she noticed the deep blush creeping up from her son's neck. "Connor, do you have any questions? Do you need to talk to us about anything?"

"Um, no, not really."

"We're a family and when we get home, well…we'll see what happens. It's all sort of exciting, don't you think?" Buffy wasn't really sure what else to say.

"Sure Mom, I guess." Connor nodded. "Is it okay if I go? The guys are waiting."

"Yes, go." Buffy shook her head at her departing son before turning to her husband. "So, do you think we embarrassed him enough for one day?"

"Oh, I think we may have embarrassed him enough for one year." Angel stated with a chuckle.

* * *

If you like, hit that little button below. If you have some constructive critiques, do the same. ;D


	18. Chapter 18

**This may be the last chapter of this story. It's not been easy, I will NEVER again post a story that I've not finished. Thanks to all who reviewed! Sorry it took so long to reach a possible ending. Now I'll get back to 'Later Days', so need to complete that puppy…**

* * *

Giles looked at his watch and took a deep breath. In approximately 2 minutes the portal would open and he only hoped and prayed Angel would be coming through with his slayer and their son. Willow came to stand next to him, taking his hand in hers.

"Giles, I'm sure he found them. They wouldn't have wandered too far from the opening and…and I'm sure he found them." She squeezed his hand and Giles smiled down at the young woman.

"I'm sure he did Willow, I'm sure he did."

Dawn sat on the couch between Tara and Spike, barely breathing. Two months, it had been two months since her sister and Connor had been pulled through the vortex and everyday she felt herself losing hope. She was almost afraid to be hopeful in case Angel came back empty handed. Or worse, didn't come back at all.

Cordelia held onto Xander's arm, leaning her face into his shoulder. "Oh Xander, it has to work. Angel has to have found them. It's just all too unfair, this has to work." She whispered.

"It will Cordy. Angel wouldn't have it any other way. And he's a master vampire after all. He'll make it right." He reassured her.

* * *

The air crackled as Buffy, Angel and Connor stood at glen, waiting for the vortex to open up. Geeta had come to their cottage that morning with the news.

"I've had a visitation. The portal will open this afternoon to take all of you back home." There was a sadness in her voice but a smile on her face. "It's time to return to your destiny."

So Buffy and Connor had gathered the few things they wanted to take home and Angel had spent his last morning in the sun. Buffy and Connor had joined him, their last outing as a family in Cernunnos.

The vortex opened quickly, not giving them time to really think. Angel pushed Buffy through first, then Connor before jumping in himself. A quick look behind him gave a last view of his family's home and friends and with a final wave, it was gone.

* * *

The crackle let Giles know the vortex was opening, he grabbed at Willow and backed up several feet as the swirling current opened up.

The first person they saw was Buffy, she held a package in her arms, which all assumed was Connor. Before anyone could react, a second body flew through, slamming into the slayer and toppling them both to the ground.

"Mom? Are you okay?" Connor's voice was filled with concern.

"I'm fine baby. Has you father come…" Before she could finish her question, Angel was force though the opening as it quickly closed behind him. He fell on his knees but quickly jumped up, checking his wife and son for any injuries.

"We're fine Angel, we're both fine." She laughed. Buffy looked up to see her whole extended family, eyes wide open, unable to move.

"Aren't you gonna welcome me home?" She asked. Dawn jumped off the couch and ran to her sister's arms.

"Oh my god! Buffy, Buffy, I was so scared. I missed you so much." She hugged her sister, burying her face in Buffy's neck. Taking a deep breath. She pulled back. "Where's Connor?"

"I'm right here." The young man who had crashed into her sister spoke up. "You must be Dawn." He smiled. Connor looked up at the rest of the group. "Giles, Willow," he swung around to face the couch, "Tara and Spike? And Xander and Cordelia."

"Wow!" Xander spoke up. "What the heck did they feed ya over there?"

Buffy smiled as Angel helped her up, which was made a little more difficult as Dawn would not let her go.

"Dawnie, sweetheart, let go. Buffy's not going anywhere." Angel gently pried the young girl off the slayer.

Buffy looked up at her watcher. "Oh Giles, it's so good to see you. And Will, how I missed you. It's been so long." Tears filled her eyes as she embraced them both. She turned to Connor and held her hand out. "Come here sweetheart."

Connor went to his mother and took her hand before he looked over at his father, who quickly joined them. "This is Connor."

* * *

"Goddess Buffy, sixteen years? Can I say it? You look super fabulous for a 38 year old woman." Willow laughed.

Buffy leaned against Angel as she kept a hand on Connor. "Yes, you can say it. And thank you very much for saying it." She smiled.

"And Connor." Giles shook his head. "My god Buffy, you raised you son all on your own. I realized the time might be differentiated, but I never let myself think so much time could pass. Buffy, I'm so…" He bit his lip, unsure how to continue. Willow took his hand again.

"But Giles, look at him. And look at Buffy. They're fine. And Angel was given time to get to know his family. And they're back. Really, it could've been so much worse." She looked over to her best friend for agreement. "Right?"

"Right. Giles, please. I won't lie, it was hard at first. I had no idea what I was doing. I was all by myself with my baby. I kept waiting. I knew you'd come for me, but the big question was when." She rubbed Conner's back as she felt him stiffen in discomfort.

"But we settled, we adapted, adjusted. And I knew you'd come as soon as you could. And I raised my son. I don't think I did such a bad job." Buffy smiled at her son and husband.

"You did a great job." Angel smiled back at his wife. He looked over at the watcher. "And he's great! You should see him fight Giles." Angel said with pride. Connor rolled his eyes.

"Dad, really." Connor blushed.

Giles nodded. "I just feel, as your watcher…"

Buffy chuckled. "Giles, I'm an adult. I was an adult when I left. A married woman, a mother. I made the causes that took me away with my son and the only regret I have was that Angel wasn't there to see him grow up. I did what I had to do Giles and you have no idea of the joy, the happiness I was allowed despite being away from you all."

"You really have grown up into a wonderful woman Buffy." Giles smiled at his slayer.

"Thank you for that. Now, if you will excuse me." Buffy noticed that Dawn had retreated to the kitchen and got up to find her.

"Dawnie?" Buffy went to her sister. "Are you alright?"

The young girl shrugged. "You have everything. You don't need me. I'm just the sister, you have this fabulous son who's like a prophecy and you have the love of your life for a husband. And then there's me. I just don't fit into to it all." She sniffed as she felt tears begin to build up.

"Oh Dawn, don't ever say that. You're more than my sister. I couldn't have made it without the thought of coming home to you. But it's all so new, sixteen years Dawn. Almost two decades. I had no idea what we'd be coming home to. And when Angel finally showed up and I found out only a couple of months had past…" Buffy fought the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I feel lost Dawnie. How can I claim him as my son? As far as anyone here knows, I'm still your 20 year old sister. How could I possibly have a 16 year old son? How are we going to get him into school? His birth certificate is pretty much null and void. I need you so much Dawn. I need your help. So does Connor ." Buffy pulled her sister into an embrace. "Never say you aren't needed or that you don't fit. I don't think I can make it without your help."

Dawn sighed deeply. "Oh Buffy, I'm sorry. I was so full of self pity I didn't even think of all these details that need to be handled. I promise, I'll be here for you. For all of you. But we don't have to think about it tonight, do we?"

"No, not tonight. Let's go inside and get reacquainted. And I want you and Connor to get to know each other. You are practically the same age, I'm sure you'll be fast friends."

"Practically the same age? Buffy, he's older than me! So unfair." She gave her sister a false pout. "But I'm sure I can deal."

Buffy chuckled. "I'm sure you can."

Dawn stood back from her sister and really looked at her.

"You don't really look any older Buffy, but you seem so much older. I guess I mean, mature. Do you really remember me? Do you know what I'm like?"

Buffy had to laugh at her sister's expression.

"Oh Dawnie, of course I know you. Every single day I would go over my life with you. From the moment you came home from the hospital until the day I was sucked through that damn vortex. You're me, remember? How could I not know you?"

"I guess I'll need to grow up too, huh?"

"No, you are almost 16 and that's just the age you should be. I'll need your help, but I do not need you to be anybody other than who you are. I had 16 years to grow up Dawn, to mature into a woman, a mother. I just want to spend time with all of you. Can we do that, just be sisters?"

"Yes please." Dawn nodded with a small smile.

"Okay then." Buffy hugged her sister and led her back to the living room.

* * *

Connor walked around the nursery. "So, this was my room huh?"

"Well, yeah, when you were like 4 months old." Dawn picked up the teddy bear that was sitting in the crib. "We can repaint."

"No, the color's nice. But maybe we can get rid of all the little animals? And I think the bed might be a bit too small." He laughed at the look on her face.

"Oh, you're teasing. Got to get used to that. Your Dad never really got the hang of humor so I just thought you might've inherited that trait."

"Really? He wasn't so bad back home." Connor quickly turned back to Dawn. "I mean Cernunnos, this is home now."

"Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure it's gonna take time to get used to this all. Like it took me forever to get used to the idea that I've really only been around for like 2 years." She put down the teddy bear and looked at her 'nephew'.

"Buffy did tell you that I was a key to another dimension, right?" She cocked her head to one side, hoping she wasn't going to have to go into it all.

"She did. You were the stuff my childhood fairytales were made of." He smiled.

"Fairytales? More like fright-tales."

"No, every night my mom would tell me stories of life here. Of you, of Dad. Giles and Willow. Xander. Spike and Tara." He chuckled, "Cordelia. Of all the battles she fought. Her life as a slayer. Your life as her sister." He sat on the floor and looked up at her.

"I just never expected you'd be so much like me." Connor smiled.

Dawn's breathe caught in her throat as that smile devastated her. "Well, let's just say I thought I'd have to wait a good long while before I'd have to walk you to school. Never mind that I never thought it would be my school."

"Hey you two." Buffy poked her head in the door. "Angel and Xander brought the extra bed up from the basement so let's take down the crib."

"Mom? Do you think we should just set it in the corner?" Connor innocently asked.

"Why would you want to do that? Just takes up too much room." Dawn got up and pulled the bedding off the crib.

Buffy went to her son and took his hand, leading him to her room.

"Sweetheart, I haven't told anyone else about the new baby yet. We'll do it soon, it's just all too much."

Connor nodded. "Sorry, I didn't think. You're right. Soon." He kissed his mother's cheek and went back into his room to help disassemble the crib.

* * *

Later that evening Buffy lay in her husband's arms and sighed.

"What?" Angel asked.

"Nothing, I'm just tired I guess. It's all so much, you know? We back and everyone just expects me to be the same Buffy that left, but I'm not. I'm a grown woman, a mother."

"It'll take them some time Buffy. I had over two months to become accustomed to my new wife." He smiled as he felt her growl. "Okay, not new, but the more matured Buffy. Just give them time honey. If they spend any amount of time with you they'll soon learn about the woman you've become."

"Am I so different?" She questioned.

"Not so different, but so much more. You know how I feel, so stop fishing." He laughed.

She slapped his chest.

"Don't you dare laugh at me, I'm feeling very insecure and I'm trying to prepare myself Angel. I hate not knowing what's going to happen." She burrowed deeper into his arms.

"Oh baby, none of us, with the possible exception of Cordy, know what the future will bring." Angel rubbed his hand across her back.

"Or the Powers That Be." She added.

"Yeah, there's that too. All we can do is live Buffy. Live and wait. When the time is right we'll know what prophecy needs to be fulfilled. In the meantime…" She felt her husband shrug.

"I know you're right. But you know how I hate to be in the dark, especially when it comes to our son."

"Go to sleep sweetheart. It'll all still be there tomorrow and we'll figure it out. Together." He kissed her brow before turning off the lamp.

* * *

**_Okay, so I'm at a cross roads here. I had planned for this to be the last chapter but I outlined several more – should I continue? If I don't get too much of a response, I may eventually write a sequel after 'Later Days' is done._**

**_At any rate, thanks again to all who reviewed. You inspire me!_**

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